The death of romantic comedy

There are few movies I go to see in the theater. It's just so pricey, and on top of that, it needs to be one the husband and I agree is worth the money. I can't remember the last romantic comedy I saw in the theater...I'm guessing it was something I saw with roommates in college. The point is, I am dreadfully behind on the genre. If I don't see it in the theater, I have to remember it exists to add to my Netflix list a few months later when it's on DVD. And there are so many to remember. Thanks to friends who remember to rent the movies, or even make it to the theater to see them, and who proceed to blog about them, I have sort of caught up on what's been out recently. I've decided to just pull out the ones I already own and watch them next time I'm tempted to see a new one. Maybe I've lost a bit of my romantic side. Maybe I've become more prudish. Maybe I am just an old fuddy duddy. But last week I watched 3 different romantic comedies, and they just didn't do it for me.

The first one I watched was "P.S., I Love You." If I'd been thinking, I probably would have saved this one for last. It has the most attractive men, and compared to the others, it was very cute and, if a bit sappy, kind of touching, too. To sum up, a woman loses her husband to a brain tumor (the popular way for someone to go in movies these days, apparently), and he has left her a bunch of letters that are delivered to her by different people using different methods. It was more just romance than romantic comedy, come to think of it. I can't think of much that was funny. I think Lisa Kudrow was supposed to be the comic relief, but I was too busy blowing my nose from crying the whole time to find anything she did all that funny. Just thinking about this movie kind of makes me want to watch it again to remind myself what my complaint was (besides that Hilary Swank looks like a drag queen to me, albeit in cute dresses in this movie). I'm guessing I just got tired of crying by the end of the movie. I cried a lot when I saw "Return to Me" as well, but I also laughed quite a bit, because the comic relief was actually there and a relief. Okay, this one may be worth seeing, if you're in the mood for something sentimental and somewhat romantically satisfying.

Then I saw "Definitely, Maybe." Boo. Boo! I found nothing redeeming about it. Nothing. Not even that cute little girl from "Little Miss Sunshine" (Abygail Whatshername). It started with divorce, followed by sexual dialogue, followed by more sexual dialogue said by an 8-year-old (!!!) and a long, boring story about how the little girl's dad met her mom. The girl is trying to guess between three women with whom he had relationships. So this little girl is sitting there, listening to her dad's sexual exploits with three women, trying to figure out which one is the mom that's divorcing her dad. What a heartwarming story. There was nothing remotely funny about it, nothing romantic about it, and, although they were trying to make it mean something, it was completely shallow and lame. Blech.

The next one in line was "Catch and Release," which looked kind of cute to me when I saw the previews. Once again, I was disappointed. Of course, after "Definitely, Maybe" my expectations weren't all that high, to be honest. This one is about a girl whose fiancee dies on a fishing trip (yes, more death, but this time it wasn't by brain tumor). Inappropriate sexual "humor" at the funeral, blah blah, she starts hanging out with his old roommates and they are supposed to be funny. It feels like you're being set up for her to fall for his one decent friend--the one that puts fresh flowers by her bed when she's sad, who treats her decently, respects her time of mourning, etc. But no, she falls for the slimeball that was involved in that "humor" at the funeral and who keeps her dead fiancee's secret girlfriend in L.A. a secret until she shows up to ask for more child support. So basically, this movie is about how the good guy doesn't get the girl, the slimeball gets the girl, and it's okay to rebound a few weeks after your cheating, lying fiancee dies, because he was a liar. Because the slimeball is cute and reminds you of your dead fiancee. Ick. So unsatisfying, so meaningless, and so trying to be deep without even slightly succeeding.

The conclusion I've come to is that romantic comedy is DEAD. I think writers need to watch a few good oldies and remind themselves what makes a good romantic comedy. Like, romance instead of straight sex, and stuff that's funny and not just crass and vulgar. Here are some recommendations, for any screenwriters out there: "While You Were Sleeping"--what I consider the perfect combination of witty dialogue, tender moments, and family humor with a satisfying romantic conclusion. "Return to Me"--this is for those people who feel like death must be included in the script. I bawled my eyes out for the first 20 minutes and last 20 minutes of this movie, but was delighted for the rest of it. That's called balance. The characters are likeable, there are cute old people that are hilarious, there's nothing that would make you uncomfortable on a date (hello--requirement!), and the clothes Minnie Driver wears are adorable, partly because they almost match, but not quite. And if you're going for straight sappiness, "A Walk to Remember"--so, so, so sappy, but I love the message. How about a movie about a teenage girl that stays true to her values, even when the popular guy starts to notice her, and kids tease her about her wholesomeness. How about if, instead of the guy inspiring her to change into a slutty dress and a new haircut, he changes himself into someone who cares and respects her faith and buys her another cardigan? I know makeovers are fun, and there's always a montage in teeny bopper romances that involves trying on lots of cute clothes and getting haircuts, but it is nice to see a movie that says it's okay to stay true to yourself, and that change from the inside out is better than just a makeover. And guess what? All three of those movies involve kissing but no sex! What? Is that even possible? YES!!! So, maybe one of my writer friends could write the next great romantic comedy (Rachel K? Please?). I'm done with them for now. Off I go to watch North and South again. (More of a romantic tragedy than comedy, but if you haven't seen it, DO! The British one, not the one about the Civil War.)