Nerdy Sad Clown

I have a few random things on my mind, so here you go.

The Beach I just spent a week in California. I totally get it now. I've always been in there in the Spring and Summer. I thought, Sure, it's a nice place, but MAN is it crowded! Every time you think you're getting off the freeway you're getting onto another one. (You know that scene in Clueless when they FREAK OUT when Deon gets onto the freeway on accident? It makes total sense, once you've been on the roads in California.) The beaches were nice and all, but then you get all sandy and gross, and salt gets your swimsuit all crusty. Then I went to California in January. And suddenly, the traffic wasn't that big a deal because it was 80 DEGREES OUTSIDE. We went to the beach, and the sand and salt were just minor problems because it was 80 DEGREES OUTSIDE. One day sitting in the sunshine after I left subzero temperatures changed my life. So my plan is to get super rich, buy a beach house, and live in California from November until May. (Do you hear that, Tim? I hope you're on board.) And I know I'm not wearing my super cute new swimsuit here. It requires some personal grooming I just didn't have time for before the beach.

Super Nerd I've seen Napoleon Dynamite. I know fanny packs are totally nerdy. But guess what? They're also super duper handy. I came home from the store last weekend with a fanny pack, and Tim looked at me with raised eyebrows and asked, "Are you planning on wearing that?" And my reply was, "Dude. I'm going to be wearing tennis shoes with my shorts. I'm already going to look like a nerd. What's the problem?" Let me list for you the benefits of a fanny pack when going to Disneyland (or any theme park).

1.Girls' pants, shorts and jeans are made with teeny tiny pockets. My phone is just about the size of a small tablet. My phone is fine in my tiny pockets when I'm walking around my house. But when I'm going to be spending three days in Disneyland, getting in and out of rides, sitting and standing repeatedly, and my phone is essential to communicating with my family, I'm not going to risk it falling out on Space Mountain, never to be seen again.
2. I also have no desire to have a wallet in my back pocket. I suppose I could have stuffed my cash and credit cards and ID into my tiny pockets, but again, risking that stuff falling out wasn't an option.
3. Cross-body bags and purses are fantastic. But I bet you can't feel your phone buzzing in a noisy park when it's buried in a backpack or at the bottom of your purse. I never missed a call while I was there.
4. Hands free, baby.
5. I had candy and hand sanitizer right at my fingertips.

I looked super nerdy. I won't be wearing it to the mall or anything. I was the only one I saw with a fanny pack. But I didn't lose my phone or wallet while I was there. I knew where all my stuff was. I had both hands free, which came in handy for wrestling a toddler and super energetic little boys. So I totally rocked the fanny pack.

Sad Clown Syndrome One of the fabulous parts of my trip this last week was an evening with my amazing friend Rachel. We had gelato at a little cafe, and chatted about topics from A to Z. One of the things we talked about was our shared ability to cry at the drop of a hat. When I was in high school, I managed my crying habit pretty well by acting goofy all the time. We watched "Dead Poets Society" in my English class, and I bawled at the end, and this girl that sat in front of me turned around and said, "I didn't know you knew how to cry!" Anyone who knows me now has seen me cry many times. Rachel and I were talking about this, and decided we needed a name and a support group for this problem. We call it Sad Clown Syndrome. We are happy people who make jokes and act goofy to keep from being in tears. It was great to talk to someone else who has had total meltdowns in the church bathroom/gym/library. Want to join our support group? Here are the symptoms:
1. The Biggest Loser, eliminations on the Bachelor and ANTM, and commercials for St. Jude reduce you to a puddle of tears.
2. Nicholas Sparks movies and books are too much.
3. You've been seen crying in the church bathroom.
4. Everyone you know has seen you cry.
5. You crack jokes a lot, especially when you feel the tears starting to flow.
If you have experienced three or more of these symptoms, you suffer from Sad Clown Syndrome, and should contact me at once. We'll watch Strictly Ballroom.

The Season 4 Curse Lastly, I'd like to note that the fourth season of almost every show I like is crappy. For example, I'm pretty sure that's the season Smallville got really weird and lame. Am I correct in saying that season 4 of Gilmore Girls is when Rory turned into a tart? Season 4 of Lost was pointless (remember the buried alive episode? Stupid). I'm sad to say that it's starting to look like Season 4 of Vampire Diaries is following suit. The Christmas episode was RIDICULOUS. And by ridiculous I mean stupid. I like having complete sets of books and movies and TV shows, but I may not be buying Season 4. Has anyone else noticed this pattern?

There you go. I'm a nerd who cries a lot and is obsessed with TV. I'm off to clean out my fanny pack.