But it is about food. I love food. I have a lot of people inform me that loving vegetables will make me skinnier. And that giving up meat and ice cream and butter will keep me from heart disease. And they are right. If all I ate were veggies and quinoa, I'd be way skinnier. But I can't do it. I eat veggies (especially the ones my husband sneaks into the smoothies he makes every morning). I have even discovered that I like some of them (like broccoli, which I eschewed with a firm hand for all of childhood and singlehood, until my husband shamed me into eating it, and I discovered that it wasn't so bad). I even ate asparagus a few days ago. My mom will be shocked and awed if she hears about that. I try to at least throw a salad together at dinner every day so we won't all get rickets or scurvy or whatever lack of veg does to you. But I can't leave out butter. Or cheese. I most certainly can't give up my red meat. I'm not here to judge or criticize those who have abandoned those parts of the food world. We are blessed with our own brains and personalities, and honestly, if I could live on healthy food alone, maybe I would. But when I leave out the good stuff I get really, really cranky. I get mean. And I don't enjoy eating anymore. I lose my desire to cook dinner, and I start to resent everyone that eats healthy and loves it. So, in order to maintain a good relationship with my healthy friends, and to keep my children from living in a house of horror, I eat meat, cheese, butter, and, most importantly, chocolate.
Because I love food so much, I have discovered a desire to learn how to cook it better. I'm also totally addicted to the Food Network, and this has been the spark that lit my need to be a better chef at home. I know I've mentioned this love of Food Network before, but now I'm going to tell you what I've learned by watching certain shows:
Chopped Even fancy chefs have a hard time coming up with something appetizing with a set of random ingredients, but somehow they manage. Chopped is like a competitive version of what happens regularly at my house, but the judges are far less picky on the show than the little guys I have at home. Watching Chopped inspires me to make what's in my cupboard into something edible. (Pinterest has come in really handy here, too.) There are days when I've got frozen chicken tenders, salsa, an apple, and a tiny bit of Swiss cheese, and I think, This is my mystery basket. Let's get this on the table. And I usually have about half an hour to get it done. I'm living the show. Usually my judges' comments are like this: "Can I just have a hot dog?" "What's THAT?" "How many bites do I have to take?" But they go to bed with something in their tummies. Thanks, Chopped.
Worst Cooks in America The good news is that I'm pretty sure I'm not one of them. I know this because I have never sent any of my family to the hospital with food poisoning. So I know a few things, like not to leave chicken sitting on the counter all day before serving it to my family pink in the middle. I can boil a pot of pasta. I've picked up a few things, though, by watching them teach the bad cooks. For example, I didn't realize that you are supposed to always put your meat/chicken into the pan when it's hot, sealing in the juices. No more gray and dry steaks. Veggies are usually done cooking when they are at their brightest color. This will keep us from eating soggy, tasteless veggies. There's a bounty of new information I've gotten from watching the show. Mostly, though, it gives me a little confidence in my abilities.
Restaurant: Impossible I'm astounded at the atrocities that go on in the kitchen at some restaurants. It's taught me that if I walk into a restaurant and the carpet smells nasty, I should probably turn tail and head to the nearest McDonald's, because they at least have cleanliness standards that have to be met, even in 3rd world countries. It's made me a little wary of mom and pop restaurants. Those seem to be the type that end up with rats under the stove and mold in the hood over the stove. It's all about the smell of the carpet. This doesn't have anything to do with my learning to cook, except that sometimes when my mystery basket doesn't work out, we go out to eat. But not where the carpet stinks.
Now I'm off to eat some sugary cereal.
Friday, March 30, 2012
Thursday, March 15, 2012
And Now For Something Completely Different
I have talked an awful lot about TV shows. I may have a teensy little TV addiction. But what I haven't mentioned is the TV I spend the most time watching/listening to. That's right. Kids' shows. I figured it was time to tell you my thoughts on kids' TV. There are three requirements I have for a good show: 1. Does it teach my kids good stuff? 2. Does it encourage good behavior (ie: will my boys be practicing ninja moves after they watch it)? and 3. (And this is the most important one) Can I tolerate it?
With these three factors in mind, here is my good list:
1. Little Einsteins. Here are the reasons I like it: First of all, it uses classical music and famous works of art to create the adventures the kids go on. For example, there is an episode using the music from Stravinsky's "Firebird Suite" and traditional Russian dolls. As a musician, I love the idea of my 3-year-old humming Stravinsky around the house. Secondly, Tyler loves it. When the kids say, "Okay, everybody pat your knees with the beat!" Tyler pats his knees with the beat. When Leo says, "Let's conduct this music piano, Tyler conducts. I'm not trying to turn my kids into musicians, but you have to admit it's kind of awesome. The two problems with the show are that a lot of the music is synthesized, and the little girl, Annie, who is supposed to be the good singer, can't carry a tune in a bucket. But I like what it teaches my kids, it makes my kids more interested in classical music and art, and I don't feel like ripping my ears off or gouging out my eyes when it's on.
2. Phineas and Ferb. Okay, so it's not that it's all that educational. But it's hilarious. I don't just tolerate it, I watch it with the kids. And if we're looking for redeeming educational qualities, it does promote creativity and the benefits of inventing. Also, Dr. Doofenschmirtz always loses, and he's the bad guy. And who can't love a show that inspires your 6-year-old to sing, "Nostrils on the Bus" during breakfast?
3. Blue's Clues. This may seem surprising to some, because about 4 months ago I was ready to gouge out my eyeballs and rip off my ears because my kids were watching this show. But it grew on me. Yes, Steve's "walking" through the green screen house is a little ridiculous, and yes, his dance moves could use a little work. But it is a show Tyler will sit down and watch, and then remember. One day, after watching a show about building things, he came to me and asked if we could build a contraption together. It took me a minute to figure out that he was saying contraption, but the point is that he was inspired to do something productive after watching the show. It is a very gentle show. There is no yelling or fighting or being rude. It's all about learning and having fun. And, after I got over the fact that the songs were running through my head at 1am, I got used to them, and they're not too bad. The problems I have are that Joe replaced Steve, and he's just not the same. He tries too hard. And when Joe came, suddenly Blue's gender changed. But overall, it's a show I encourage over others around here.
4. Pocoyo. Stephen Fry is the narrator. Need I say more? I will. Each episode is only 7 minutes long. So no matter how ridiculous the story is, it's over soon.
5. Shaun the Sheep/Timmy Time I'm putting these into the same paragraph. They're cute and funny and it's hard to be obnoxious when it's just little animal sounds. I don't know how educational they are, but they sure are entertaining.
And now a quick list of shows I detest:
1. Barney. Why he has teenagers dancing and singing on a show aimed at 2-year-olds is beyond me. Barney did save our bacon when we were driving to Utah from Mississippi, because it was the only thing our 2-year-old would watch for more than 5 minutes without getting bored and screaming. But really, mostly it just kind of makes me squirm and feel embarrassed for the kids in it, because I'm pretty sure they're getting their butts kicked at school every day.
2. Special Agent Oso. Oh Disney, what have you done? Instead of continuing to show My Friends, Tigger and Pooh, they got rid of it and kept Special Agent Oso. What bugs me the most is that the whole premise of the show is kids who need help doing basic tasks and aren't getting help from their parents. One of the episodes was about a kid whose family is heading out on vacation, and the mom tells him to pack. Then she tells him he's got 2 minutes to get it done, and he has no idea how to fit his stuff in the suitcase. So along comes obnoxious Agent Oso, who, incidentally, has no clue either, and the mom is off doing whatever while her son is struggling to pack his suitcase. Also, it's annoying.
3. Pretty much anything on Nickelodeon We have tried streaming several different shows, and all of them are loud, crass, and usually kind of violent. I like Sponge Bob, but it's not something I can handle in larger doses than one episode every other week or so. Most of their shows aren't educational at all, involve behavior I don't want my kids to imitate, and I want to tear my hair out when they are on.
There you have it. I'm just telling you what I think. Every family has different tastes and criteria for what they watch. But, since I like to spout off about TV so much, I'm spouting off on kids' shows today.
With these three factors in mind, here is my good list:
1. Little Einsteins. Here are the reasons I like it: First of all, it uses classical music and famous works of art to create the adventures the kids go on. For example, there is an episode using the music from Stravinsky's "Firebird Suite" and traditional Russian dolls. As a musician, I love the idea of my 3-year-old humming Stravinsky around the house. Secondly, Tyler loves it. When the kids say, "Okay, everybody pat your knees with the beat!" Tyler pats his knees with the beat. When Leo says, "Let's conduct this music piano, Tyler conducts. I'm not trying to turn my kids into musicians, but you have to admit it's kind of awesome. The two problems with the show are that a lot of the music is synthesized, and the little girl, Annie, who is supposed to be the good singer, can't carry a tune in a bucket. But I like what it teaches my kids, it makes my kids more interested in classical music and art, and I don't feel like ripping my ears off or gouging out my eyes when it's on.
2. Phineas and Ferb. Okay, so it's not that it's all that educational. But it's hilarious. I don't just tolerate it, I watch it with the kids. And if we're looking for redeeming educational qualities, it does promote creativity and the benefits of inventing. Also, Dr. Doofenschmirtz always loses, and he's the bad guy. And who can't love a show that inspires your 6-year-old to sing, "Nostrils on the Bus" during breakfast?
3. Blue's Clues. This may seem surprising to some, because about 4 months ago I was ready to gouge out my eyeballs and rip off my ears because my kids were watching this show. But it grew on me. Yes, Steve's "walking" through the green screen house is a little ridiculous, and yes, his dance moves could use a little work. But it is a show Tyler will sit down and watch, and then remember. One day, after watching a show about building things, he came to me and asked if we could build a contraption together. It took me a minute to figure out that he was saying contraption, but the point is that he was inspired to do something productive after watching the show. It is a very gentle show. There is no yelling or fighting or being rude. It's all about learning and having fun. And, after I got over the fact that the songs were running through my head at 1am, I got used to them, and they're not too bad. The problems I have are that Joe replaced Steve, and he's just not the same. He tries too hard. And when Joe came, suddenly Blue's gender changed. But overall, it's a show I encourage over others around here.
4. Pocoyo. Stephen Fry is the narrator. Need I say more? I will. Each episode is only 7 minutes long. So no matter how ridiculous the story is, it's over soon.
5. Shaun the Sheep/Timmy Time I'm putting these into the same paragraph. They're cute and funny and it's hard to be obnoxious when it's just little animal sounds. I don't know how educational they are, but they sure are entertaining.
And now a quick list of shows I detest:
1. Barney. Why he has teenagers dancing and singing on a show aimed at 2-year-olds is beyond me. Barney did save our bacon when we were driving to Utah from Mississippi, because it was the only thing our 2-year-old would watch for more than 5 minutes without getting bored and screaming. But really, mostly it just kind of makes me squirm and feel embarrassed for the kids in it, because I'm pretty sure they're getting their butts kicked at school every day.
2. Special Agent Oso. Oh Disney, what have you done? Instead of continuing to show My Friends, Tigger and Pooh, they got rid of it and kept Special Agent Oso. What bugs me the most is that the whole premise of the show is kids who need help doing basic tasks and aren't getting help from their parents. One of the episodes was about a kid whose family is heading out on vacation, and the mom tells him to pack. Then she tells him he's got 2 minutes to get it done, and he has no idea how to fit his stuff in the suitcase. So along comes obnoxious Agent Oso, who, incidentally, has no clue either, and the mom is off doing whatever while her son is struggling to pack his suitcase. Also, it's annoying.
3. Pretty much anything on Nickelodeon We have tried streaming several different shows, and all of them are loud, crass, and usually kind of violent. I like Sponge Bob, but it's not something I can handle in larger doses than one episode every other week or so. Most of their shows aren't educational at all, involve behavior I don't want my kids to imitate, and I want to tear my hair out when they are on.
There you have it. I'm just telling you what I think. Every family has different tastes and criteria for what they watch. But, since I like to spout off about TV so much, I'm spouting off on kids' shows today.
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