An overdose of Shannon Hale

My mom has been organizing and cleaning out rooms in her house, which has resulted in bags and boxes and stacks of free books for me! Two of the books she gave me in the latest batch were Enna Burning and River Secrets, both by Shannon Hale. They had colorful and appealing covers, which is why I chose to read them. Both books are sequels to The Goose Girl, which my husband and I listened to 3 or 4 years ago on a road trip. When I "listen" to a book on a road trip, what I'm really doing is snoozing against the car door until the CD is done, which prompts me to wake up long enough to put in the next one. So after reading the second and third books of the Bayern series, I decided to read The Goose Girl for real. While I was on the library's website requesting that one, I was reminded that I had wanted to read Book of a Thousand Days and Austenland, also by Shannon Hale. I requested all three of the books, and they were ready for me this past week. So here I was, with 3 books to read, wondering how I would get through all 3 before the due date. Done, done and done! It helps to have a sick kid, the Disney Channel, and bad weather all converge into one week. When you're trapped inside for 8 days and you can't take another episode of the Imagination Movers (I'll have to blog about them another time), it's nice to have some easy lit to help you tune out the zany antics of Rich, Scott, Smitty and Dave (yes, I know their names).

Here's a quick review of each one:

The Goose Girl (and Enna Burning and River Secrets): Shannon Hale admits in an interview at the back of the books that her weakness as a writer is being slow to get into the story. Amen, sister. Goose Girl was especially slow at the beginning, partly because she was carefully setting up the background for a world she was planning on staying in for several books. One advantage to taking time building the story, however, is that she also builds the main character into someone you understand. Ani, Enna, and Razo, the main characters for each book, have histories to them that explain their actions and drive the story. This series explores the relationship between the characters and the basic elements of nature surrounding them. For Ani (also called Isi), it's animal speech and wind speech. For Enna, it's fire and the internal battle she faces between her desire to do what's right peacefully and the need to burn everything to the ground. For Razo, it is his attempt to figure out the intentions of a woman whose communication with water may be used for good or evil. The world Hale has created is detailed and interesting and easy to accept. My one complaint with her writing is her habit of reusing phrases a lot when describing feelings. I've read 5 of her books in the past 2 weeks, and she loves the use of "yawn in the chest." The 452nd time I read it I yelled aloud, "For crying in the mud, come up with a different phrase!!!" They are fun and wholesome books overall, though, and I'd recommend them for 10- to 16-year-old girls especially. (There's some romance, of course.)

Austenland: Eh. Great idea, bad execution. Not that I could do better. Here's the rundown: A thirty-two-year-old single woman who has had a number of failed relationships clings to the hope of a Colin Firth-esque Mr. Darcy romance. She is obsessed with the 5-hour Pride and Prejudice movie, hides her DVDs in the houseplants, and watches it time after wretched time to drown her sorrows after each boyfriend doesn't measure up to Mr. Darcy. Her rich Great-Aunt discovers her unhealthy obsession and tells her to snap out of it, dies, and leaves her a trip to a theme park--a Jane Austen theme park. They dress in the clothes, they lead lives of leisure, the men go on hunts and speak politely, and all modern technology is banned (except modern make-up, which is encouraged). Sounds fun, right? Well, we find our heroine trying to cast off her obsession with Mr. Darcy and find true love all at the same time. The idea behind the story is great. It's obvious Shannon Hale was among us college students who devoted every Saturday to either P&P and a pan of brownies or Anne of Green Gables and a tub of ice cream. I can relate to the character in many ways (a trail of bad dating experiences is related throughout the story), but I don't like the style she uses to tell the story. It's choppy and hard to follow (kind of like this post, I think, which is why I won't ever attempt a book), and a bit on the predictable side. There you have it.

Book of a Thousand Days: I loved this book. Loved it. It started out a little on the slow side (just like the other books), but the best part of this book was discovering the story page by page. The story is set in a land similar to Mongolia (yaks and mare's milk and the like), and is divided into several kingdoms. The book is set up as a personal journal, written by a lady's maid whose employer is locked in a tower on her first day of work. The Lady Saren has refused the hand of a powerful man and betrothed herself to a kinder man from another kingdom. Her father locks her in a tower and tells her she must stay there for 7 years, so she can consider her poor choice and make the right one. The maid swears an oath to the Lady, follows her to the tower, and slowly discovers her own strength and abilities, while attempting to find her Lady's. It's hard to explain. Just read it. I love the story, and the way Hale tells it. It's touching and sweet and romantic. It's about finding your strength in the face of adversity, and about finding beauty inside others. I'm making it sound cheesy, but really, it was just a nice story that I think most will enjoy.

Okay, this has turned into a much longer post than I was planning. Sorry. I have been reading a lot, and I figure it's either that or telling you all about Mickey Mouse's Clubhouse. Now you have some new books to look up at the library. They're great for a snowy day (or week).

Ballroompalooza

The Bachelor is so two weeks ago. Now it's what I consider the best time of year: Ballroom time! And what better way to celebrate Ballroom Time than by kicking it off by watching "Strictly Ballroom"!!! ("Pam Short's broken both her legs, and I want to dance with you.") If you've never seen this movie, and you like quirky and silly, you MUST see it. I insist. It's directed by Baz Lurman (is that spelled right?), which means it's packed with brightly colored costumes and funny makeup and dance numbers. Kind of appropriate for a movie about ballroom dancing, right? I have enjoyed this movie since I saw it clear back in the early 90s, and I will continue to enjoy it until Tim and I can enter the "over 50s" dance round. (Tim doesn't know this yet.) The plot is simple: Plain-looking, mousy beginner Fran approaches dashing, flashy open-amateur Scott and asks if he wants to dance with her. This goes against ballroom etiquette and propriety, and on top of that, they want to make up NEW STEPS!!! Oh, it's shocking alright. Does that get you hooked? It should.

Following a very necessary viewing of Strictly Ballroom, a healthy dose of "Dancing With the Stars" is in order. Yes, it's that time again! I love that they have 3 seasons a year! This season is as starless as usual (Jewel was the biggest star there, and dropped out due to injury, to be replaced by a Playboy bunny). Some of the super stars involved this season are Jewel's husband (I don't remember his name, but he's a rodeo star), Belinda Carlisle, Steve-O from the show Jackass (I only know who he is because he and his buddies did a photo shoot with ANTM), and Denise Richards. Nancy O'Dell was one of the stars, but at the last minute got injured and was replaced with...drum roll please...Melissa, the girl that got dumped on the Bachelor! Awesome. I feel bad for her, because when they introduced the other celebs, it was, "the actor" or "the rodeo star" or "the Grammy winning rapper", and with her it was, "Let's show a clip of Jason dumping her!" And now she's famous for getting dumped on TV. I just hope this show goes better for her so she can be introduced at the next reality show she's in as "the winner of Dancing with the Stars!" She only had 2 days to learn the waltz, and I thought she was great. It helps that she used to be a Dallas Cowboys cheerleader. Back to the show. The reason I believe it's important to watch Strictly Ballroom first is so you can compare Len Goodman to Barry Fife, and Edyta to Tina Sparkle. Bruno Tonioli is a creature that can't be compared to anyone. Unless you can think of a really annoying Italian that feels a need to come up with really bad alliterative phrases to describe the dancing. Yikes.

Some of you are probably thinking, why watch ballroom dance? I watch for the completely ridiculous costumes, the live band (yes, Harold Wheeler's band is awesome--how many bands have you heard pull off the Star Wars theme and Sir Mix-a-Lot in the same night?), and the sparkly shoes. And the secret hope that somehow I will become famous and get to be on the show. Did you see how much weight Marie Osmond lost?

The Biggest Loser (and I'm not talking about the show about losing weight)

Alright, you knew it was coming. The Bachelor just wrapped up this week, and I need to give my 2 cents about the outcome. In keeping with the Lord of the Rings references (since they were in New Zealand, after all), I'd like to compare how things turned out with that part at the end of Return of the King. You know, where Sam has just carried Frodo up the mountain, Frodo is so loveable and pathetic, and you are so glad he has finally made it to Mount Doom where he can toss the ring in and save the day.

It came down to Jason choosing between Melissa and Molly. At our house we were cheering for Melissa. She was cute, nice, genuine, sweet, and Jason's little boy seemed to like her right away. And 3-year-olds are pretty intuitive about people. Molly seemed a little fake and shallow, and Ty was afraid of her at first. So Jason rejected Molly and proposed to Melissa. Hooray! Frodo makes it to Mount Doom and all seems right. Then in the After the Rose ceremony, Jason comes out and says, "I am going to dump Melissa and see if things will work out with Molly." At the last minute, Frodo puts the ring on to claim power for himself. Suddenly he looks a little demented and possessed, and his appeal goes down the toilet. You think, NO! After everything you just went through? How could you?

Here's my theory about Jason. He spent the whole season talking about Molly's eyes and how whenever he saw them, he was hooked. Molly's eyes are the One Ring. They have possessed him and, not being fortunate enough to have a deranged creature bite his finger off and land in the lava with the ring, Jason has now succumbed to Molly's hypnosis and Melissa is gone. I see Melissa as Sam, but in a totally different way romantically, of course, since there's none of that going on in LOTR. She didn't hypnotize Jason, she won him over by being awesome. She kept him from being possessed by Molly's eyes. She was cheerful and helpful and nice, just like Sam.

Since this is a match-making show that is ridiculous in every way (really, basing a decision like marriage on limited time with girls that are being handed drinks every 5 minutes and that have cameras on them ALL the time is not reality), I don't really think you can make a judgement call about whether or not what Jason did was right or wrong. It's TV, and there's a producer calling the shots and manipulating different situations. But isn't it fun to talk about it? I love TV!

By the way, for those of you who care, Jillian is the next Bachelorette. I'm looking forward to her Canadian accent.