Reality Wrap-up

As you all know, I'm a bit of a reality TV junkie. I have been glued to my favorites in the past few weeks, just waiting to see who would get the mirror ball trophy, the Cover Girl contract, and the Kiss of Death recording contract. So, here's my take on all the outcomes, for anyone who also cares.


America's Next Top Model This will be brief. The doe-eyed blondie really suprised me when she pulled out a good runway walk in the finale. I think they must have chosen her worst walking moments when they were editing the show so we would all be stunned by the fact that she could walk in heels with sass. Tiyana (is that how it's spelled?), who looks a bit alien, or, as the judges put it, "wind in the face," ended up winning it all. Good for her. Her pictures were consistently good, she had a tiny waist and was 7 feet tall. But her walk was BOOOOOORING. Not at all sassy. I am looking forward to the next season, which is short models only (5'7" and under). Why didn't I try out for it? I didn't want to upstage Tyra.

Dancing With The Stars My favorite moments from the finale:

1. The Roast, which made everyone look angry and hurt, because it really wasn't all that funny, and made it awkward for the next little while. Who thought it was a good idea to sit down the finalists and insult them right before their final dance? The comments Geoffrey Ross made to Tom Bergeron fell especially flat. I have never seen Tom look so put out or unjolly.

2. Steve Wozniak's attempt at the worm, AGAIN. He couldn't do it the first time. It was cruel to ask him to repeat himself. And it was much much worse the second time. Poor nerdy man. He is so cheerful about it all, and a bit oblivious, too.

3. The fact that all 3 dancers in the finale were good. I think Shawn Johnson totally redeemed herself in the last 2 weeks. And you know it's going to be a winning freestyle when they rip off their outer costume layer to reveal lots of sequins and fringe. The flashdance thing was fun, if only for the combination of a hot man and catchy music. For me, what I liked about Melissa's was that Tony was doing hip hop, and seems like a pretty laced-up guy. Shawn totally won that round.

The outcome was surprising to me, but after Geoffrey Ross' comment about Melissa coming in 2nd again, I was actually glad that she got 3rd instead of 2nd. I really wanted her to get 1st place so she'd be known as the girl who won DWTS, and not the chick that got dumped on national television. Oh well. She'll be just fine. It would have been nice for Gilles to win so he could be known as the DWTS winner and not Naked Guy from Sex and the City. Oh well. He'll be getting more work now. Shawn Johnson is short and peppy and cute, so good for her.

American Idol So, who do you choose? Super talent or humble folksy guy? The thing is, winning American Idol doesn't mean that much. They get to make an album of songs that were chosen by AI's producer, most of which are cheesy and lame and never make it to the radio. They get the talk show circuit. And they get a really nifty microphone trophy (they were jealous of DWTS). Winning second place means a label will sign you, you can choose your songs or even write them yourself, you still get the talk show circuit, and you are free from Idol forever. Downside: No cool trophy. I think the outcome of this season was actually quite ideal. Kris is somewhat shy, young and humble. He doesn't seem like the type that will put a huge effort into his career by selling himself. So American Idol will do it for him. Adam Lambert is flashy, showy, dramatic, and extremely sure of himself as an artist. He'll get a record deal, record songs that are perfect for his fans, and make a gazillion dollars. They both win. I liked Kris' reaction to his win. He was surprised, humble, and very pleased.

You may have noticed that I don't have a nice long post about the outcome of Biggest Loser. That's because Helen won, and she sent her own daughter home, she was annoying and whiny, and looked like she'd been starving herself to win (haggard and pale). I wanted Mikey to win. Good job to the old guy, Jerry, for destroying the competition at home. That's all I have to say.

Coming up this summer: So You Think You Can Dance and the Bachelorette. Yes!

Ballroompalooza

The Bachelor is so two weeks ago. Now it's what I consider the best time of year: Ballroom time! And what better way to celebrate Ballroom Time than by kicking it off by watching "Strictly Ballroom"!!! ("Pam Short's broken both her legs, and I want to dance with you.") If you've never seen this movie, and you like quirky and silly, you MUST see it. I insist. It's directed by Baz Lurman (is that spelled right?), which means it's packed with brightly colored costumes and funny makeup and dance numbers. Kind of appropriate for a movie about ballroom dancing, right? I have enjoyed this movie since I saw it clear back in the early 90s, and I will continue to enjoy it until Tim and I can enter the "over 50s" dance round. (Tim doesn't know this yet.) The plot is simple: Plain-looking, mousy beginner Fran approaches dashing, flashy open-amateur Scott and asks if he wants to dance with her. This goes against ballroom etiquette and propriety, and on top of that, they want to make up NEW STEPS!!! Oh, it's shocking alright. Does that get you hooked? It should.

Following a very necessary viewing of Strictly Ballroom, a healthy dose of "Dancing With the Stars" is in order. Yes, it's that time again! I love that they have 3 seasons a year! This season is as starless as usual (Jewel was the biggest star there, and dropped out due to injury, to be replaced by a Playboy bunny). Some of the super stars involved this season are Jewel's husband (I don't remember his name, but he's a rodeo star), Belinda Carlisle, Steve-O from the show Jackass (I only know who he is because he and his buddies did a photo shoot with ANTM), and Denise Richards. Nancy O'Dell was one of the stars, but at the last minute got injured and was replaced with...drum roll please...Melissa, the girl that got dumped on the Bachelor! Awesome. I feel bad for her, because when they introduced the other celebs, it was, "the actor" or "the rodeo star" or "the Grammy winning rapper", and with her it was, "Let's show a clip of Jason dumping her!" And now she's famous for getting dumped on TV. I just hope this show goes better for her so she can be introduced at the next reality show she's in as "the winner of Dancing with the Stars!" She only had 2 days to learn the waltz, and I thought she was great. It helps that she used to be a Dallas Cowboys cheerleader. Back to the show. The reason I believe it's important to watch Strictly Ballroom first is so you can compare Len Goodman to Barry Fife, and Edyta to Tina Sparkle. Bruno Tonioli is a creature that can't be compared to anyone. Unless you can think of a really annoying Italian that feels a need to come up with really bad alliterative phrases to describe the dancing. Yikes.

Some of you are probably thinking, why watch ballroom dance? I watch for the completely ridiculous costumes, the live band (yes, Harold Wheeler's band is awesome--how many bands have you heard pull off the Star Wars theme and Sir Mix-a-Lot in the same night?), and the sparkly shoes. And the secret hope that somehow I will become famous and get to be on the show. Did you see how much weight Marie Osmond lost?