Smize!

A few observations I've made about this season of America's Next Top Model:

1.  Tyra has decided to embrace all the mocking she gets about her whole "smiling with your eyes" business by creating her own word, "smize."  Not only did she embrace it, but she created a superhero, Super Smize!  I think this is the best yet. 

And this is how Tyra sees herself.  Awesome. Thanks for the picture, Pooka.

2.  This season is all about petite models.  That means women 5'7" and under.  Pardon me, but isn't 5'7" about average?  I think petite clothing is for those of us who are actually short.  Like 5'1".  Like me. 

3.  The producers are playing up the short.  For example, has anyone else noticed that in panel the girls are all wearing flats?  Not a high heel to be seen in the bunch.  But Tyra is wearing 6-inch heels.  Do you think that just might make the girls look like midgets?  I think they got them all together and realized that, after hyping up the "short" season, 5'7" wasn't looking that short.  The only really short one in the bunch is Sundae, who is 5'3".  Tyra looks like an Amazon next to her. 

4.  As a short person, I find it a tiny bit insulting that every episode is a short joke.  In episode 1, they moved into their house, which is decorated with dolls and toys, like they're little kids.  And the photo shoot was them redoing baby pictures in couture versions of their baby clothes.  In episode 2, they went to the Santa Anita Racetrack to model with horses and JOCKEYS!  This week they had to do a runway show where they were side-by-side with "normal" models.  Did anyone else notice that the short girls were all in knee-length dresses, while the tall girls were in long, flowy dresses?  Yeah, it sort of emphasized the height difference.  I can't wait to see what they do next week.  I'm sure at some point they will do carnie photos, and another week pose with Barbie furniture.  They will probably do a shoot in a kitchen with them reaching for the top shelf of a cupboard.  Perhaps one where they are painted blue and wearing Smurfette wigs.  Oh, I hope so.

So it's shaping up to be a great season!  Honestly, I can't for the life of me remember most of their names.  But my faves are the redhead that doesn't ever get excited (it's a nice change) and the girl from Kentucky that talked about practicing her runway walk in the frozen food aisle at Walmart.  Awesome.

Reality Wrap-up

As you all know, I'm a bit of a reality TV junkie. I have been glued to my favorites in the past few weeks, just waiting to see who would get the mirror ball trophy, the Cover Girl contract, and the Kiss of Death recording contract. So, here's my take on all the outcomes, for anyone who also cares.


America's Next Top Model This will be brief. The doe-eyed blondie really suprised me when she pulled out a good runway walk in the finale. I think they must have chosen her worst walking moments when they were editing the show so we would all be stunned by the fact that she could walk in heels with sass. Tiyana (is that how it's spelled?), who looks a bit alien, or, as the judges put it, "wind in the face," ended up winning it all. Good for her. Her pictures were consistently good, she had a tiny waist and was 7 feet tall. But her walk was BOOOOOORING. Not at all sassy. I am looking forward to the next season, which is short models only (5'7" and under). Why didn't I try out for it? I didn't want to upstage Tyra.

Dancing With The Stars My favorite moments from the finale:

1. The Roast, which made everyone look angry and hurt, because it really wasn't all that funny, and made it awkward for the next little while. Who thought it was a good idea to sit down the finalists and insult them right before their final dance? The comments Geoffrey Ross made to Tom Bergeron fell especially flat. I have never seen Tom look so put out or unjolly.

2. Steve Wozniak's attempt at the worm, AGAIN. He couldn't do it the first time. It was cruel to ask him to repeat himself. And it was much much worse the second time. Poor nerdy man. He is so cheerful about it all, and a bit oblivious, too.

3. The fact that all 3 dancers in the finale were good. I think Shawn Johnson totally redeemed herself in the last 2 weeks. And you know it's going to be a winning freestyle when they rip off their outer costume layer to reveal lots of sequins and fringe. The flashdance thing was fun, if only for the combination of a hot man and catchy music. For me, what I liked about Melissa's was that Tony was doing hip hop, and seems like a pretty laced-up guy. Shawn totally won that round.

The outcome was surprising to me, but after Geoffrey Ross' comment about Melissa coming in 2nd again, I was actually glad that she got 3rd instead of 2nd. I really wanted her to get 1st place so she'd be known as the girl who won DWTS, and not the chick that got dumped on national television. Oh well. She'll be just fine. It would have been nice for Gilles to win so he could be known as the DWTS winner and not Naked Guy from Sex and the City. Oh well. He'll be getting more work now. Shawn Johnson is short and peppy and cute, so good for her.

American Idol So, who do you choose? Super talent or humble folksy guy? The thing is, winning American Idol doesn't mean that much. They get to make an album of songs that were chosen by AI's producer, most of which are cheesy and lame and never make it to the radio. They get the talk show circuit. And they get a really nifty microphone trophy (they were jealous of DWTS). Winning second place means a label will sign you, you can choose your songs or even write them yourself, you still get the talk show circuit, and you are free from Idol forever. Downside: No cool trophy. I think the outcome of this season was actually quite ideal. Kris is somewhat shy, young and humble. He doesn't seem like the type that will put a huge effort into his career by selling himself. So American Idol will do it for him. Adam Lambert is flashy, showy, dramatic, and extremely sure of himself as an artist. He'll get a record deal, record songs that are perfect for his fans, and make a gazillion dollars. They both win. I liked Kris' reaction to his win. He was surprised, humble, and very pleased.

You may have noticed that I don't have a nice long post about the outcome of Biggest Loser. That's because Helen won, and she sent her own daughter home, she was annoying and whiny, and looked like she'd been starving herself to win (haggard and pale). I wanted Mikey to win. Good job to the old guy, Jerry, for destroying the competition at home. That's all I have to say.

Coming up this summer: So You Think You Can Dance and the Bachelorette. Yes!