First of all, I am aware that there hasn't been anything new on this blog for quite some time. Looking at the date on my previous post, I went into labor a few hours after I posted Freedom of Speech. And I had a baby an hour and a half after that. I already went into detail on my other blog about the birth of our baby, and there are pictures and everything. It was quite an experience. I'm not going to go into detail here. I learned that I really am not good at handling pain, and that I am one of those screamers that I'm sure nurses complain about. Sorry. There's only so much breathing you can do to manage pain. At least, that's how it is for me.
On a totally different subject, does anyone have any good Halloween costume ideas? I'm coming up totally blank this year. My 3-year-old is convinced that I should be that baby-headed spider thingy in Toy Story (you know, the creepy looking thing from Sid's room), but I just don't think I can pull that off. So, please, inspire me! Last year I put on my BYU t-shirt and hat, painted my face and called it a costume. So lame. Halloween is the best opportunity to be someone totally different, and I'm blowing it!
One more thing. Like the post title suggests, this entry is a bit scattered, but I have a little rant I'd like to make. I went to the eye doctor last week, and, while I'm sure he's an excellent optometrist (I can't tell a difference, honestly, I just try to figure out which is better, one or two, and hope I pass the test), he had me near throttling him by the end of the appointment. Maybe I'm a little insecure about my being a real grown-up, but there is something about people that speak to me like I'm five that really rubs me the wrong way. The entire appointment I felt like I was back in braces and going in for my first appointment. I am 31 years old, for crying out loud! And he couldn't have been much older than 35. My son's previous pediatrician was the same way with me. Very annoying. I think there's a mistaken idea with some doctors, etc, that using a "soothing" voice means having a good bedside manner. To me, a good bedside manner is treating the patient like an intelligent adult, while providing sound medical advice/information. Am I way off here?
Oh, and one more thing--I just finished reading Elantris, by Brandon Sanderson. Thanks, Jenny, for the recommend. It was excellent! I'm about to start on the third Mistborn book now. I just hope I can keep all the stories straight. It's hard when you're sleepy.
Thursday, October 23, 2008
Thursday, October 9, 2008
Freedom of speech
You may think suddenly I'm going to go all political. No, I'm still me. I am going to rant about something totally unrelated to politics, as usual. Not that I don't care about politics, or the upcoming election--ARGH, stomach ache, must change subject! I'm referring to the strange idea that there are certain circumstances that excuse tact and discretion. First, though, I'd like to tell anyone who reads my blog that I am not pointing fingers at you, just raising awareness. That's what we do instead of blame, right? Here are a few circumstances I have been in that seem to inspire people to say inappropriate things:
1. Being single past age 21. Here are some things people think are okay: "So, when are you getting married?" Um, what? "Why aren't you on a mission?" I think this was right after a talk by the prophet about how missions were not mandatory for women, or even the best choice for some. "You must be picky!" If you mean by picky, I don't keep dating a guy who spends 3 hours on his cell phone while we're on a date at Dennys, then yes, I am picky. "I know someone that's short like you and he is PERFECT!!!" Like being short means we're MFEO. I was set up with a few "short" guys (not that there's anything wrong with short guys) that had nothing in common with me. One grew up in a forest with an outhouse and had no interest in music or pop culture. Yeah, perfect for me. But he was 5' 6" All of these things were said to me at age 21 and 22, and so forth, until I got married at age 25.
2. Married for more than 6 months and not pregnant. The question so many can't help but ask, but which is totally inappropriate and personal: "When are you having a baby?" Or, even worse, "Is it that you can't have kids?" Another, "Are you on birth control? When are you going off of it?" We actually had a combined meeting at church when we were first married, and the bishop basically told everyone to mind their own business and stop asking those questions. I am someone who feels compelled to answer someone's questions fully and honestly, which means a lot of the time, I give away much more info that I want to. These questions don't even go away when you have a baby. After the new baby is 6 weeks old, people ask when you're having #2!
3. Pregnant. I find myself in this position right now, and it seems like as soon as you start showing, strangers feel like they can butt into your life and start being completely nosy! Here are some things I've heard: "Ooh, I'd let you borrow some clothes, but they would be much too small." "Are you having twins?" "Wow, you looked really tired." "Hey, I was that big at 8 months with my twins, too! Oh, you're at 6 months?" And the patting of the tummy by people I don't know. I don't mind friends doing it, or my 3-year-old, or my husband. But strangers really shouldn't. The other thing that happens during pregnancy is an outpouring of horror stories of every variety. Seriously, do you think a pregnant woman really wants to know about how you were in labor for 48 hours with no epidural because your doctor was a quack? Or about how your aunt's cousin's nephew's wife had her baby in the car during rush hour traffic? And those are the nice stories. How about, "I loved how exciting it was to have a baby. Everything will be great!" (By the way, thanks to those who commented about that on my other blog. I'm excited now.)
I'm sure I could come up with some examples of appropriate questions, but I've been told my rants get too long. I'll just trust people to know what's appropriate.
The point I'm making is, no one should feel they're exempt from being tactful, no matter how big a pregnant woman is, or how old a single person is, or how long a couple has been married without having kids. You should be pretty close friends before thinking it's okay to even broach some subjects people feel like they can ask after you've met once. Just raising some awareness. Maybe I'll make a pin.
1. Being single past age 21. Here are some things people think are okay: "So, when are you getting married?" Um, what? "Why aren't you on a mission?" I think this was right after a talk by the prophet about how missions were not mandatory for women, or even the best choice for some. "You must be picky!" If you mean by picky, I don't keep dating a guy who spends 3 hours on his cell phone while we're on a date at Dennys, then yes, I am picky. "I know someone that's short like you and he is PERFECT!!!" Like being short means we're MFEO. I was set up with a few "short" guys (not that there's anything wrong with short guys) that had nothing in common with me. One grew up in a forest with an outhouse and had no interest in music or pop culture. Yeah, perfect for me. But he was 5' 6" All of these things were said to me at age 21 and 22, and so forth, until I got married at age 25.
2. Married for more than 6 months and not pregnant. The question so many can't help but ask, but which is totally inappropriate and personal: "When are you having a baby?" Or, even worse, "Is it that you can't have kids?" Another, "Are you on birth control? When are you going off of it?" We actually had a combined meeting at church when we were first married, and the bishop basically told everyone to mind their own business and stop asking those questions. I am someone who feels compelled to answer someone's questions fully and honestly, which means a lot of the time, I give away much more info that I want to. These questions don't even go away when you have a baby. After the new baby is 6 weeks old, people ask when you're having #2!
3. Pregnant. I find myself in this position right now, and it seems like as soon as you start showing, strangers feel like they can butt into your life and start being completely nosy! Here are some things I've heard: "Ooh, I'd let you borrow some clothes, but they would be much too small." "Are you having twins?" "Wow, you looked really tired." "Hey, I was that big at 8 months with my twins, too! Oh, you're at 6 months?" And the patting of the tummy by people I don't know. I don't mind friends doing it, or my 3-year-old, or my husband. But strangers really shouldn't. The other thing that happens during pregnancy is an outpouring of horror stories of every variety. Seriously, do you think a pregnant woman really wants to know about how you were in labor for 48 hours with no epidural because your doctor was a quack? Or about how your aunt's cousin's nephew's wife had her baby in the car during rush hour traffic? And those are the nice stories. How about, "I loved how exciting it was to have a baby. Everything will be great!" (By the way, thanks to those who commented about that on my other blog. I'm excited now.)
I'm sure I could come up with some examples of appropriate questions, but I've been told my rants get too long. I'll just trust people to know what's appropriate.
The point I'm making is, no one should feel they're exempt from being tactful, no matter how big a pregnant woman is, or how old a single person is, or how long a couple has been married without having kids. You should be pretty close friends before thinking it's okay to even broach some subjects people feel like they can ask after you've met once. Just raising some awareness. Maybe I'll make a pin.
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
The death of romantic comedy
There are few movies I go to see in the theater. It's just so pricey, and on top of that, it needs to be one the husband and I agree is worth the money. I can't remember the last romantic comedy I saw in the theater...I'm guessing it was something I saw with roommates in college. The point is, I am dreadfully behind on the genre. If I don't see it in the theater, I have to remember it exists to add to my Netflix list a few months later when it's on DVD. And there are so many to remember. Thanks to friends who remember to rent the movies, or even make it to the theater to see them, and who proceed to blog about them, I have sort of caught up on what's been out recently. I've decided to just pull out the ones I already own and watch them next time I'm tempted to see a new one. Maybe I've lost a bit of my romantic side. Maybe I've become more prudish. Maybe I am just an old fuddy duddy. But last week I watched 3 different romantic comedies, and they just didn't do it for me.
The first one I watched was "P.S., I Love You." If I'd been thinking, I probably would have saved this one for last. It has the most attractive men, and compared to the others, it was very cute and, if a bit sappy, kind of touching, too. To sum up, a woman loses her husband to a brain tumor (the popular way for someone to go in movies these days, apparently), and he has left her a bunch of letters that are delivered to her by different people using different methods. It was more just romance than romantic comedy, come to think of it. I can't think of much that was funny. I think Lisa Kudrow was supposed to be the comic relief, but I was too busy blowing my nose from crying the whole time to find anything she did all that funny. Just thinking about this movie kind of makes me want to watch it again to remind myself what my complaint was (besides that Hilary Swank looks like a drag queen to me, albeit in cute dresses in this movie). I'm guessing I just got tired of crying by the end of the movie. I cried a lot when I saw "Return to Me" as well, but I also laughed quite a bit, because the comic relief was actually there and a relief. Okay, this one may be worth seeing, if you're in the mood for something sentimental and somewhat romantically satisfying.
Then I saw "Definitely, Maybe." Boo. Boo! I found nothing redeeming about it. Nothing. Not even that cute little girl from "Little Miss Sunshine" (Abygail Whatshername). It started with divorce, followed by sexual dialogue, followed by more sexual dialogue said by an 8-year-old (!!!) and a long, boring story about how the little girl's dad met her mom. The girl is trying to guess between three women with whom he had relationships. So this little girl is sitting there, listening to her dad's sexual exploits with three women, trying to figure out which one is the mom that's divorcing her dad. What a heartwarming story. There was nothing remotely funny about it, nothing romantic about it, and, although they were trying to make it mean something, it was completely shallow and lame. Blech.
The next one in line was "Catch and Release," which looked kind of cute to me when I saw the previews. Once again, I was disappointed. Of course, after "Definitely, Maybe" my expectations weren't all that high, to be honest. This one is about a girl whose fiancee dies on a fishing trip (yes, more death, but this time it wasn't by brain tumor). Inappropriate sexual "humor" at the funeral, blah blah, she starts hanging out with his old roommates and they are supposed to be funny. It feels like you're being set up for her to fall for his one decent friend--the one that puts fresh flowers by her bed when she's sad, who treats her decently, respects her time of mourning, etc. But no, she falls for the slimeball that was involved in that "humor" at the funeral and who keeps her dead fiancee's secret girlfriend in L.A. a secret until she shows up to ask for more child support. So basically, this movie is about how the good guy doesn't get the girl, the slimeball gets the girl, and it's okay to rebound a few weeks after your cheating, lying fiancee dies, because he was a liar. Because the slimeball is cute and reminds you of your dead fiancee. Ick. So unsatisfying, so meaningless, and so trying to be deep without even slightly succeeding.
The conclusion I've come to is that romantic comedy is DEAD. I think writers need to watch a few good oldies and remind themselves what makes a good romantic comedy. Like, romance instead of straight sex, and stuff that's funny and not just crass and vulgar. Here are some recommendations, for any screenwriters out there: "While You Were Sleeping"--what I consider the perfect combination of witty dialogue, tender moments, and family humor with a satisfying romantic conclusion. "Return to Me"--this is for those people who feel like death must be included in the script. I bawled my eyes out for the first 20 minutes and last 20 minutes of this movie, but was delighted for the rest of it. That's called balance. The characters are likeable, there are cute old people that are hilarious, there's nothing that would make you uncomfortable on a date (hello--requirement!), and the clothes Minnie Driver wears are adorable, partly because they almost match, but not quite. And if you're going for straight sappiness, "A Walk to Remember"--so, so, so sappy, but I love the message. How about a movie about a teenage girl that stays true to her values, even when the popular guy starts to notice her, and kids tease her about her wholesomeness. How about if, instead of the guy inspiring her to change into a slutty dress and a new haircut, he changes himself into someone who cares and respects her faith and buys her another cardigan? I know makeovers are fun, and there's always a montage in teeny bopper romances that involves trying on lots of cute clothes and getting haircuts, but it is nice to see a movie that says it's okay to stay true to yourself, and that change from the inside out is better than just a makeover. And guess what? All three of those movies involve kissing but no sex! What? Is that even possible? YES!!! So, maybe one of my writer friends could write the next great romantic comedy (Rachel K? Please?). I'm done with them for now. Off I go to watch North and South again. (More of a romantic tragedy than comedy, but if you haven't seen it, DO! The British one, not the one about the Civil War.)
The first one I watched was "P.S., I Love You." If I'd been thinking, I probably would have saved this one for last. It has the most attractive men, and compared to the others, it was very cute and, if a bit sappy, kind of touching, too. To sum up, a woman loses her husband to a brain tumor (the popular way for someone to go in movies these days, apparently), and he has left her a bunch of letters that are delivered to her by different people using different methods. It was more just romance than romantic comedy, come to think of it. I can't think of much that was funny. I think Lisa Kudrow was supposed to be the comic relief, but I was too busy blowing my nose from crying the whole time to find anything she did all that funny. Just thinking about this movie kind of makes me want to watch it again to remind myself what my complaint was (besides that Hilary Swank looks like a drag queen to me, albeit in cute dresses in this movie). I'm guessing I just got tired of crying by the end of the movie. I cried a lot when I saw "Return to Me" as well, but I also laughed quite a bit, because the comic relief was actually there and a relief. Okay, this one may be worth seeing, if you're in the mood for something sentimental and somewhat romantically satisfying.
Then I saw "Definitely, Maybe." Boo. Boo! I found nothing redeeming about it. Nothing. Not even that cute little girl from "Little Miss Sunshine" (Abygail Whatshername). It started with divorce, followed by sexual dialogue, followed by more sexual dialogue said by an 8-year-old (!!!) and a long, boring story about how the little girl's dad met her mom. The girl is trying to guess between three women with whom he had relationships. So this little girl is sitting there, listening to her dad's sexual exploits with three women, trying to figure out which one is the mom that's divorcing her dad. What a heartwarming story. There was nothing remotely funny about it, nothing romantic about it, and, although they were trying to make it mean something, it was completely shallow and lame. Blech.
The next one in line was "Catch and Release," which looked kind of cute to me when I saw the previews. Once again, I was disappointed. Of course, after "Definitely, Maybe" my expectations weren't all that high, to be honest. This one is about a girl whose fiancee dies on a fishing trip (yes, more death, but this time it wasn't by brain tumor). Inappropriate sexual "humor" at the funeral, blah blah, she starts hanging out with his old roommates and they are supposed to be funny. It feels like you're being set up for her to fall for his one decent friend--the one that puts fresh flowers by her bed when she's sad, who treats her decently, respects her time of mourning, etc. But no, she falls for the slimeball that was involved in that "humor" at the funeral and who keeps her dead fiancee's secret girlfriend in L.A. a secret until she shows up to ask for more child support. So basically, this movie is about how the good guy doesn't get the girl, the slimeball gets the girl, and it's okay to rebound a few weeks after your cheating, lying fiancee dies, because he was a liar. Because the slimeball is cute and reminds you of your dead fiancee. Ick. So unsatisfying, so meaningless, and so trying to be deep without even slightly succeeding.
The conclusion I've come to is that romantic comedy is DEAD. I think writers need to watch a few good oldies and remind themselves what makes a good romantic comedy. Like, romance instead of straight sex, and stuff that's funny and not just crass and vulgar. Here are some recommendations, for any screenwriters out there: "While You Were Sleeping"--what I consider the perfect combination of witty dialogue, tender moments, and family humor with a satisfying romantic conclusion. "Return to Me"--this is for those people who feel like death must be included in the script. I bawled my eyes out for the first 20 minutes and last 20 minutes of this movie, but was delighted for the rest of it. That's called balance. The characters are likeable, there are cute old people that are hilarious, there's nothing that would make you uncomfortable on a date (hello--requirement!), and the clothes Minnie Driver wears are adorable, partly because they almost match, but not quite. And if you're going for straight sappiness, "A Walk to Remember"--so, so, so sappy, but I love the message. How about a movie about a teenage girl that stays true to her values, even when the popular guy starts to notice her, and kids tease her about her wholesomeness. How about if, instead of the guy inspiring her to change into a slutty dress and a new haircut, he changes himself into someone who cares and respects her faith and buys her another cardigan? I know makeovers are fun, and there's always a montage in teeny bopper romances that involves trying on lots of cute clothes and getting haircuts, but it is nice to see a movie that says it's okay to stay true to yourself, and that change from the inside out is better than just a makeover. And guess what? All three of those movies involve kissing but no sex! What? Is that even possible? YES!!! So, maybe one of my writer friends could write the next great romantic comedy (Rachel K? Please?). I'm done with them for now. Off I go to watch North and South again. (More of a romantic tragedy than comedy, but if you haven't seen it, DO! The British one, not the one about the Civil War.)
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