A Visit from Flat Rachel

I'm pretty sure a lot of the people who read my blog also read Rachel K's blog.  If you do, you know that she has been sending a flat version of herself to friends around the country to visit and enjoy the summer.  She drew my name out of her sombrero, and last week it was my turn.  Flat Rachel will now be returning to Rachel K. in California, and being shipped off to her next destination. 

Here is an illustrated narrative of her visit:

Flat Rachel arrived while we were on a week-long trip in Kansas.  She spent who knows how many days on my neighbor's counter sitting under a pile of junk mail.  Imagine her joy when she was finally released from her paper prison:

After her ordeal being trapped in her mailing envelope, she was exhausted, so she collapsed next to Jacob and had a nap on the couch.

Flat Rachel was cooped up so long, we headed to the park for some fresh air.  Jacob and Flat Rachel became the best of friends.  They ate lunch together and played together. 

We needed a little girl time, so we ate Starburst and watched Buffy the Vampire Slayer together. 

Knowing that Rachel K. has excellent taste in handbags, I knew Flat Rachel would be equally helpful when I went to buy a few summertime totes.   She came along and helped me pick out these cute bags:

It was time to head to Costco with the whole family to get a double jogger/bike trailer and some lights for the bathroom, and Flat Rachel decided to come along and risk her well-being by sitting by Tyler (or as we sometimes call him, Tyler the Destroyer).  She survived the trip, and helped us find some lovely bathroom light fixtures.

It was time to try out the new double jogger.  We walked all the way to library, which I wouldn't have done without Flat Rachel.  I know she loves books.  You know Tyler's up to no good.  Rachel tried very hard to stick with Jacob and be safe, but...

...there was a bit of an incident, and we had to perform emergency surgery.

Post-op treat of caramel cake:

After Flat Rachel's painful ordeal, I thought she deserved a night out, so we went to Eclipse together:

and then we blogged about it together:

Flat Rachel wanted to sit in on a flute lesson, so she listened from the piano:

As our week together drew to a close, we had a barbecue and some pool time to celebrate Flat Rachel's visit.  Flat Rachel sat under the umbrella with a smoothie instead of hopping in the pool (no matter how much Jacob begged for her to join us), because she didn't want her adorable top to smear.

And today, with tears in my eyes, I will bid Flat Rachel a fond farewell and send her back to the loving arms of Rachel K., who thanks to the curse we have (see #2 on her list), has been sick with the stomach flu.  Thanks for the good times.  Rachel K., get well soon.

The Short Second Life of Bree Tanner, The Movie

Just kidding.

This post is really about Eclipse, of course. I've seen it twice now.  I figured after I had to redo my New Moon review after I saw it the second time, I should probably just see it twice in a week and get it over with so I could do one review instead of two.  I'm going to break it down into categories so I can gather my thoughts.

First, let's start with the Stuff that bugged me:
Edward's Grey V-neck.  Yeah, I know that seems petty, but that shirt exposed his chest hair and gave me flashbacks to that one scene in New Moon.  I won't make you suffer that picture again.  The good news is that that plunging V is all we had to see of his pale hairy chest.  But let's put some nice crew neck shirts on him. 
Could Jasper Relax his Eyes?  Have you seen Edward Scissorhands?  Great movie.  Amazing, really.  One of my faves.  So you'd think that the fact that Jasper seems to constantly be channeling Edward Scissorhands' wide stare shouldn't bother me, right?  But oy!  There has to be a different way to convey his special power.  I think instead of bugging his eyes out, he needs to master the smize.  I'm sure with their bigger budget they could hire Tyra Banks to coach Jasper. 
Bella's hair.  Tangle much?  Wiggy?  It's all about the hairline.  Most people's hairlines aren't a perfect straight line.  Anyway.  It bugged me.  Everyone else's hair looked fine.  More about that in a minute.
Victoria.  I have new info on the reason Rachelle LeFevre was canned.  Apparently she wanted more money.  Poo on her for messing things up.  She had the perfect evil sneer, I loved how she delivered her lines, and I was extremely disappointed by her departure from the series.  Bryce Dallas Howard isn't a bad actress.  She looked the part, red hair and all, she tried really hard to be evil, but she wasn't as good as Rachelle LeFevre.  She didn't look evil enough.  She was missing the attitude. 

Stuff that pleasantly surprised me:
Riley.  There have been questionable casting choices with this series (Rob Pattinson comes to mind), but give that casting director a raise for hiring on Xavier Samuel as Riley.  In the book, there's really not a lot about him.  He makes an appearance at the end for about 2 pages, and isn't described in much detail.  However, the screenplay included bits from the novella, "The Short Second Life of Bree Tanner."  You catch a glimpse of Riley before he is changed, and he is a sweet, young college student.  The next time you see him, he is a blood-thirsty, angry vampire.  The transformation is convincing and complete.  I don't know where they found him, but two enthusiastic thumbs up.
The music.  Sorry to keep comparing this movie to New Moon, but the orchestral music in New Moon bugged the heck out of me.  The orchestral soundtrack is meant to enhance what is happening on the screen, not distract you from it.  So FAIL on that account for New Moon.  But obviously, the success from the first 2 movies have helped boost the budget enough that they could hire Howard Shore (Lord of the Rings music guy) for Eclipse.  Nice call, people.  I admit, the second time I went, I paid more attention to the music and couldn't believe I hadn't realized it was his music the first time.  Definitely similar to LOTR stuff.  I loved it.
Edward.  I know I have already mentioned his yucky shirt and hairy chest.  Those were Edward moments I could live without.  But there were moments that I understood the whole teen craze over Rob Pattinson.  I don't know if it was that they finally figured out that unruly hair, or got the light angles right, or put on just the right amount of makeup, but there were moments he was actually quite attractive.  One of the reasons he was more attractive was that he actually smiled.  Convincing smiles.  Maybe he found a happy place in his life.  Or maybe the director told him to stop looking crazed. 
The dialogue.  These movies are based on romance novels.  So there was potential for a LOT of gooey, sappy, lame dialogue.  And there was some of that, of course.  But there were some great moments, like Charlie trying to give Bella "The Talk," and Edward and Jacob's conversation in the tent ("You know I'm hotter than you."), and so on. 
Rosalie.  Finally, Rosalie had a decent wig.  It didn't look overstyled.  Her hair was sleek and shiny, and when it was pulled back I wasn't distracted by the hairline too much.  Her makeup was a bit excessive, for sure.  Whoa on that eyeshadow.  But she looked beautiful and I think they finally got her near the description Meyers gave her in the book. 
Jacob.  Still hot. 
The Action.  I LOVED the fight scenes.  They were fun, action-packed, and exciting.  I loved the impossible spinning leaps of vampires over werewolves, the crunch as vampires collided, and Edward pounding a tree down with Victoria in it.  Good stuff. 

So, what's the verdict?  Best of the three, hands down.  Others may disagree, but that's my take on it.  I didn't feel like giggling when I wasn't supposed to (except at one spot that I'm sure teenagers thought was totally swoon worthy, but was a bit ridiculous to a 32-year-old housewife).  It was one I look forward to buying and watching with my friends more than once.  Two thumbs up. 

Movie Time (and a little TV, too, because, why not?)

It has been a busy time.  Birthday parties, weddings, Fathers' Day, house guests, and all the clean-up that goes into those activities has kept me off the blog for a while.  As a result, you get blurbs about a bunch of stuff I wanted to mention.  Here goes:

Alice in Wonderland Meh.  I remember walking out of a movie last year and seeing a giant poster of Johnny Depp as the Mad Hatter, and I was disappointed to find out that I had to wait almost a year to see him in Alice in Wonderland.  When Tim Burton and Johnny Depp joined forces for Edward Scissorhands, it was genius.  They have a history of creativity and quirkiness that I was looking forward to in Alice.  However, I was disappointed.  The story wasn't all that compelling, the girl that played Alice was kind of blah, and I found both queens really annoying.  So, thumbs down from me on that one. 

Toy Story 3 Maybe I was disappointed with Alice in Wonderland because I had just seen this movie.  Wow.  I feel like where Disney is involved, they are fortunate if a sequel isn't super duper awful.  And I made the mistake of watching The Little Mermaid III, which was not only awful, but barf worthy.  So thank heavens for Pixar.  Toy Story came out when I was a freshman in college, and, like the rest of the world, I fell in love with Woody, Buzz, Ham, Potato Head and Slinky Dog.  Toy Story 2 was a pleasant surprise, and endeared me to Jesse and Bullseye as well.  After 2 extremely successful movies, I was skeptical that the third would measure up.  I worried that the writers would just recycle the last two movies and it would end the trilogy in a huge let down.  NOT SO.  Not only was it just as funny (if not funnier) as the first two, it was sweet and heart-warming and original.  It had my 5-year-old laughing hysterically, my mom rolling in the aisles, and me giggling quite a lot.  And it had me getting a little misty.  Okay, a lot misty.  At least 3 times.  It is one of those movies I'm not dreading to watch 500 times when we get it on DVD for the kids.  Two enthusiastic thumbs up.  Fine summer fun.

The Buffy/Angel Vampirepalooza It's summer.  Summer=crappy TV.  I have one TV show recording on my DVR right now that's not for Jacob.  Ugh.  So hooray for Netflix streaming.  I was browsing the Netflix instant selections on the website and came across the TV show Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and, on a whim, added all 7 seasons.  And for good measure, I also found Angel and added all 5 seasons.  So now I get my David Boreanez fix.  I decided to watch Buffy because I remembered being in college when it came out, and I'm pretty sure it was on a night I was out playing with my friends, so I missed the whole phenomenon.  Here's what I think so far:  Creepy demons with extra cheese is just what this summer ordered.  The first 3 seasons of Buffy are her high school years, and mostly consist of a Great Evil threatening the annhilation of mankind and Buffy and her pals kicking evil's butt.  Angel, a vampire with a soul, skulks around and gives the gang little nuggets of information that is usually the key to vanquishing the demons.  Plus he's Buffy's boyfriend, except when he turns evil and kills and tortures her friends.  Then Buffy goes to college and Angel leaves for LA, because things just aren't working out with the Buffster.  (Can we say spin-off?)  The college years are a bit skankified on Buffy, but Spike enters the scene and provides hilarity and amusement.  As for Angel, the series, I'm thoroughly enjoying it.  It's a little more dark and brooding, but has great story lines and fun characters.  All in all, it's making my summer a little more fun.  Whee!

That's it for now.  Time to hand off the computer to my hubby. 

Bits of Everything

I'm a little scattered.  Here's what's on my mind today:

1.  So You Think You Can Dance  I love this show.  I'm using the word love here.  But I get really annoyed with the inflated egos of the judges and producers, who lord their power over these poor kids whose hopes and dreams are resting on their answers.  Seriously, do you really need to be sure they are crying tears of devastation before you give them the good news?  It's cruel.  My least favorite part of these talent shows is the first few episodes, when the judges narrow it down to the top 20, or, this season, the top 10 dancers.  What I am happy about is that, since they decided to bring back past contestants to partner up with the current contestants, they chose to bring back Dominic.  He was my super fave, and it should be fun to see how Kat Deeley fights off his numerous advances this time around.

2.  My Head is a Giant Cornflake  For some reason, I can't seem to keep a thought in my head for more than about 5 minutes (which means this post is taking me forever to write).  I have no idea why this is happening, but as a result, I have been a real nuisance lately.  My son's birthday party is Friday, and it will be completely my fault if no one shows up, because, thanks to my ridiculous ditziness, I didn't get the invitations out until today.  I completely spaced watching my friend's kids, and all I had to do was remember for 24 hours that I was going to watch them.  While I was playing piano in Relief Society today, I kept getting distracted and losing my place, which meant bigtime trainwrecks in the middle of what were supposed to be calming hymns, and those poor ladies had to suffer through it. 

3.  Finally, Some Pretty Toes for the Summer (now where's the Summer?)  I wear flip flops for 9 months out of the year.  I love the comfort and breeziness of a nice pair of Reefs, but flip flop wearing means rough, callused heels with lovely little cracks.  My toenails get kind of gnarly, and I usually have chipped polish that looks slapped on (because it was).  So why have I waited until I'm 32 years old to get a pedicure?  I really don't know.  I jumped at the chance to go with my friend over the weekend.  My nasty calluses were scraped, my feet and calves were exfoliated, and my toenails are a pretty deep shade of red with cute little flowers on the big toes.  And now I can wear my flip flops with my head held high (although mostly I keep looking down at my shiny toenails).

What?

That was my reaction to the Lost series finale. After 6 seasons of a riddle wrapped in an enigma surrounded by mystery, I was looking forward to some answers. Who in the heck is that Japanese guy that "tested" Sayid by drowning him and torturing him? How did he get to the island, and what did he have to do with Jacob and the Man in Black? What was Walt's deal? Remember back when he kept showing up with water dripping from his mouth, muttering something creepy? And the whole thing about Juliet saying, "It worked" after she set off the nuclear bomb?

I was expecting at least a few of those questions to get answered by the end of the series. And THEY DIDN'T. AT ALL. Argh. I admit, I did enjoy seeing the alternate lives of the survivors. I liked seeing them find each other. I bawled my eyes out when Charlie and Claire were reunited, and again when Sawyer and Juliet found each other. I did enjoy all of that, and it was fun to see Boone again (not that I haven't seen him on Vampire Diaries) and Shannon and Juliet. But I really don't understand why they chose to spend an entire season, especially the final season, on one simple concept--how they find each other to get to heaven. They spent the other 5 seasons throwing one question after another at the audience, only to leave them hanging there, unanswered. Not cool. It doesn't change the fact that I absolutely love the show, and think the creators were completely genius. They just didn't deliver when it came to wrapping up the show. Imagine the Harry Potter series ending without knowing what happened to half the characters. That's how I felt. What did you think?

15 years older

On May 25, 1995, my friends and I graduated from high school in a class of over 700 seniors.  So, happy 15 years!  I found my stack of dance pictures from back in the day, scanned them in, and was looking through them this morning.  I thought I'd share a few highlights from the olden days (I know this post is totally dating me, especially once you see the clothes).  I need to add here that I have loads of incriminating pictures from band tour, some of which involve underwear on friends' heads in the middle of the night, as well as sneak pics of BTRs and snoozing band geeks.  I thought using dance pictures would be nicer, because we're all dressed up fancy.  Including myself. 

My first date:

The Best Part: Getting to borrow my sister's shirt, which I had had my eye on for months.
The Worst Part:  The belching contest at the table.  I had no idea boys were that gross.  At that point my only brother was 8.

Junior Prom, Spring, 1994:

The Best Part: It was the Big Dance.  Cool place, fun group.  Plus, look at that maroon velvet with the huge lace collar.  Fancy!
The Worst Part:  That moment when my heel caught on the fountain hose and caused a huge rupture that brought the dance to a screeching halt while they got the fountain turned off and the huge pool in the middle of the rotunda mopped up.  Oops.  Not a proud moment.

A Group Date, literally.  All the girls asked all the boys.

The Best Part:  12 tight friends, all having fun together without the pressure of impressing your date.  And who doesn't love a Hawaiian theme?
The Worst Part:  There was a fountain there, and with my history, at least 200 people had to point out the fountain to make sure I wouldn't ruin this dance, too.  At least this time they had the hose secured.

The Death Group:

I'm starting with The Worst Part first: A certain driver missed a turn in the canyon and parked her station wagon in a tree.  No one was hurt, but it was quite the shock. 
The Good Part:  My date was one of my best friends instead of some guy I'd only talked to twice, which meant we could deal with it without embarrassment.  Also, he had a 15-passenger van and saved the day.  Plus, everyone in that group kind of bonded over what could have been a tragedy.

Prom, Senior year:

The Best Part:  Everything.  It was a blast.  Fun date, fun group, no fountain mishaps. 
The Worst Part:  It was one of our last high school hoohahs. 

Since then, some of us have lost touch.  We've scattered across the country.  Some of us have dated each other, some of us have married each other.  There have been lots of babies, lots of college, illness, and the inevitable entrance into our thirties (Oy).  I know I'm waxing a bit sentimental, but high school was full of good times and excellent friends.  I'm looking forward to the next chance we have to reunite and catch up.  Cheers, class of '95. 

Reality TV Wasteland

I think it has finally happened.  I’m bored with reality TV.  I turn on Dancing With the Stars as background while I get stuff done, and I hardly ever really notice who’s dancing or what the judges are saying.  I think Bruno has done me in.  I just don’t care that much anymore.  And I forward through everything but the weigh-ins on The Biggest Loser now, and even the weigh-ins barely keep my attention.  I’m not interested in the weeping, the screaming, the back-biting and the challenges anymore.  The other day, when I was blogging about my current shows, I couldn’t for the life of me remember a single contestant name from America’s Next Top Model.  I could barely remember what the photo shoot was, which is really my favorite part.  (It really is amazing how a bunch of gawky 19-year-olds can turn beautiful with a lot of makeup and a fancy dress.)   

Here’s why I think this has happened:

1)  Netflix streaming.  I have a gazillion things waiting in my instant queue.  Why waste my time watching other people scream at each other?  Although not many movies are available for streaming, lots of TV shows are, and that gives me hours of shows that don’t involve real people and their personal lives being displayed for the world. 

2)  The bad weather.  My patience is very thin these days.  It’s May, and IT’S SNOWING.  So watching a bunch of people yelling at each other and hearing countless bleeps while Jillian screams and cusses at people while they sweat themselves to death really isn’t that fun to me.  Maybe if I sat down after spending the afternoon out in the yard, smelling the new grass and feeling the sun on my back, I would be able to tolerate it.  But I get to hear my boys screeching at incredibly high decibel levels and hear myself snapping back at them all day.  It’s enough yelling and noise. 

3)  There’s just a lot of TV going on right now.  It’s easy to pare down to the good stuff, and most reality TV doesn’t fit in. 

We will soon be entering into rerun desolation, and at that point, I may reassess my feelings on reality TV.  But I still have 3 seasons of Bones to watch on Netflix.  I doubt I’ll give in.  Maybe.  Except for “So You Think You Can Dance.”  That’s a good show.