Nerdy Sad Clown

I have a few random things on my mind, so here you go.

The Beach I just spent a week in California. I totally get it now. I've always been in there in the Spring and Summer. I thought, Sure, it's a nice place, but MAN is it crowded! Every time you think you're getting off the freeway you're getting onto another one. (You know that scene in Clueless when they FREAK OUT when Deon gets onto the freeway on accident? It makes total sense, once you've been on the roads in California.) The beaches were nice and all, but then you get all sandy and gross, and salt gets your swimsuit all crusty. Then I went to California in January. And suddenly, the traffic wasn't that big a deal because it was 80 DEGREES OUTSIDE. We went to the beach, and the sand and salt were just minor problems because it was 80 DEGREES OUTSIDE. One day sitting in the sunshine after I left subzero temperatures changed my life. So my plan is to get super rich, buy a beach house, and live in California from November until May. (Do you hear that, Tim? I hope you're on board.) And I know I'm not wearing my super cute new swimsuit here. It requires some personal grooming I just didn't have time for before the beach.

Super Nerd I've seen Napoleon Dynamite. I know fanny packs are totally nerdy. But guess what? They're also super duper handy. I came home from the store last weekend with a fanny pack, and Tim looked at me with raised eyebrows and asked, "Are you planning on wearing that?" And my reply was, "Dude. I'm going to be wearing tennis shoes with my shorts. I'm already going to look like a nerd. What's the problem?" Let me list for you the benefits of a fanny pack when going to Disneyland (or any theme park).

1.Girls' pants, shorts and jeans are made with teeny tiny pockets. My phone is just about the size of a small tablet. My phone is fine in my tiny pockets when I'm walking around my house. But when I'm going to be spending three days in Disneyland, getting in and out of rides, sitting and standing repeatedly, and my phone is essential to communicating with my family, I'm not going to risk it falling out on Space Mountain, never to be seen again.
2. I also have no desire to have a wallet in my back pocket. I suppose I could have stuffed my cash and credit cards and ID into my tiny pockets, but again, risking that stuff falling out wasn't an option.
3. Cross-body bags and purses are fantastic. But I bet you can't feel your phone buzzing in a noisy park when it's buried in a backpack or at the bottom of your purse. I never missed a call while I was there.
4. Hands free, baby.
5. I had candy and hand sanitizer right at my fingertips.

I looked super nerdy. I won't be wearing it to the mall or anything. I was the only one I saw with a fanny pack. But I didn't lose my phone or wallet while I was there. I knew where all my stuff was. I had both hands free, which came in handy for wrestling a toddler and super energetic little boys. So I totally rocked the fanny pack.

Sad Clown Syndrome One of the fabulous parts of my trip this last week was an evening with my amazing friend Rachel. We had gelato at a little cafe, and chatted about topics from A to Z. One of the things we talked about was our shared ability to cry at the drop of a hat. When I was in high school, I managed my crying habit pretty well by acting goofy all the time. We watched "Dead Poets Society" in my English class, and I bawled at the end, and this girl that sat in front of me turned around and said, "I didn't know you knew how to cry!" Anyone who knows me now has seen me cry many times. Rachel and I were talking about this, and decided we needed a name and a support group for this problem. We call it Sad Clown Syndrome. We are happy people who make jokes and act goofy to keep from being in tears. It was great to talk to someone else who has had total meltdowns in the church bathroom/gym/library. Want to join our support group? Here are the symptoms:
1. The Biggest Loser, eliminations on the Bachelor and ANTM, and commercials for St. Jude reduce you to a puddle of tears.
2. Nicholas Sparks movies and books are too much.
3. You've been seen crying in the church bathroom.
4. Everyone you know has seen you cry.
5. You crack jokes a lot, especially when you feel the tears starting to flow.
If you have experienced three or more of these symptoms, you suffer from Sad Clown Syndrome, and should contact me at once. We'll watch Strictly Ballroom.

The Season 4 Curse Lastly, I'd like to note that the fourth season of almost every show I like is crappy. For example, I'm pretty sure that's the season Smallville got really weird and lame. Am I correct in saying that season 4 of Gilmore Girls is when Rory turned into a tart? Season 4 of Lost was pointless (remember the buried alive episode? Stupid). I'm sad to say that it's starting to look like Season 4 of Vampire Diaries is following suit. The Christmas episode was RIDICULOUS. And by ridiculous I mean stupid. I like having complete sets of books and movies and TV shows, but I may not be buying Season 4. Has anyone else noticed this pattern?

There you go. I'm a nerd who cries a lot and is obsessed with TV. I'm off to clean out my fanny pack.

Best of 2012

It's a new year, and I'm looking forward to whatever's ahead. Except for trips to Walmart. I know I'll be doing them, and I never look forward to trips to Walmart. But now for a quick look at the past year. Here are some highlights:

1. A yellow Miata. I had actually begun to think I'd never ever learn how to drive stick, because really, how many minivans come with a stick shift. It came at a great time, when I was starting to feel like I'd never leave the house without 3 kids in tow ever again. There's no back seat in that car, and it's a great date car, or a zooming around with the passenger seat and tiny trunk full of shopping bags car. Plus, at 35 years old, I learned how to drive stick.

2. Performing on my flute with my sister and parents. That was a wonderful opportunity for me to reacquaint myself with my old, disciplined, musician self. I worked hard, I prepared well, and I had a great time. And my kids thought it was really cool. It helped me remember that I can still play the flute with my kids hanging around the house.

3. Netflix is finally streaming some darn good stuff. Tim and I are addicted to Psych. I've watched all 5 seasons of Alias this year. Revenge is now on Netflix. The first season of Downton Abbey is there (um, waiting for season 2. Come on, people!). (There are also an endless number of Power Rangers series on there, but we're being positive right now.) I have discovered shows like Roswell and Burn Notice that I just kind of skipped over when they were new on TV. This may seem like a lot of TV. It is. But think about why I've been in front of the TV so much...

4. My sweet sweet little Joshua. He was born in 2011, but the majority of his life up until now has been in 2012. I spent the first 8 months of 2012 feeding him on the couch in front of my beloved Netflix. It's a good reason to watch TV. He is such a sweet baby, and I have enjoyed countless snuggles with him, day and night. He's a toddler now, really, so I'm celebrating his babyhood by remembering all those sweet times we had together.

5. Entertaining books. There are always great books to be had. I read some fun, if not super deep, books this year. You've already heard about "The Passage." And I thoroughly enjoyed a book called "What Alice Forgot." It was interesting and thought-provoking. And had some humor, too, which I deeply appreciate. I just finished "The Night Circus," which I also enjoyed. I read "Divergent" and "Insurgent" this year, too, and they were both a fun and interesting read. (Nothing too deep here, but please remember, I was enjoying snuggles with Joshua at 4am regularly. Not really in the mindset this year for deep thinking.) I love a good book. I can't wait to read more this year.

6. Reaching a goal. I lost some weight. It made me happy. 'Nuf said.

So, here comes 2013. I hope I can find more good books to read, enjoy spending time with my boys, discover more great TV, play my flute and enjoy it, and drive that Miata to all my favorite stores. I would also be glad not to gain all that weight back. (Evil evil M&Ms, teasing me from the pantry...)

Happy new year!

Done and done. Phew.

I didn't wear a t-shirt with a giant picture of Edward, Bella and Jacob on the front. I didn't read the illustrated movie companion. I didn't get to the theater an hour early just to take pictures of myself by the cardboard cutouts of the Cullens. But I did go to the first showing on the release date of "Breaking Dawn, Part 2." I am not a twihard, especially after Breaking Dawn, Part 1. (Remember the wolfy voices? Hee hee.) The reasons I went to the first showing are these:

1. I couldn't go Friday or Saturday, and since next week is Thanksgiving, I figured I needed to get it done this week.
2. It drives me bonkers to go into a movie after hearing a million different things about it. (No one told me about the wolfy voices in the last movie, though, or I may not have seen it at all.) I don't want to go in with any kind of opinion about a movie. I went into the first Harry Potter movie with ridiculously high expectations because of all the comments my friends had already made about it, and it was kind of a let-down. Not that I didn't like it. It just didn't blow me away. That might have had to do with the fact that it came out at the same time as The Fellowship of the Ring, which did blow me away, and which I saw on opening night. But I digress. The point I'm making is that the only expectations I had for this movie were created by my own past experience with these movies.
3. There were tickets available.

I went into the movie with pretty low expectations. The fact that in Part 1 the entire audience was laughing at scenes that were supposed to be serious didn't bode well for the end of the movie series. Kristen Stewart was still going to be Kristen Stewart. The book it was based on was still a turd that they were attempting to polish. You may be asking, "Why go in the first place?" Tradition. That's why. I have gone with my friends to every Twilight movie, and I wasn't about to stop now, in the final stretch. So I went, expecting to get a good laugh for the night and be done with the series.

I was pleasantly surprised. Here's why:
1. I did get quite a few laughs, but they were for stuff that was supposed to be funny. (What a concept, right?)
2. There were no wolfy voices, just meaningful nods through windows. (I'm pretty sure there was some negative feedback that was heeded on this one.)
3. The turd that was the book (I'm sorry. The ending was so lame I wanted to hurl it against the wall, but I didn't because of how much I had spent on it) was improved on in a very surprising and fun way. I'm not going to spoil it for you. But just know, it's not so lame.
4. I had eaten a hot fudge sundae right before watching. That always puts me in a better frame of mind. It helped, I'm sure.
5. The soundtrack, which is what helped the other movies so much, also helped here. (I'm talking songs, not orchestral soundtrack. The jury's still out on the orchestral soundtrack. I'll probably need to see it again on DVD and get back to you.)
6. Kristen Stewart was still Kristen Stewart, but they've improved Robert Pattinson's appearance so much that I was willing to overlook Kristen.

Some problems:
1. The decapitated heads were just ridiculous. Seriously. I've seen a picture of a real one (don't ask), and it did NOT look silly. Maybe they knew a bunch of 12-year-old girls were going to be watching, and didn't want to scare them too much. But it kind of detracted from the drama they were going for.
2. The nudie scenes with Bella and Edward were gag-o-matic. And not just in the cheesy way (and it was cheesy).
3. The Amazon vampire ladies. They were a bit much.
4. Not enough Charlie. I can always use more Charlie. He's the best character in the whole business.

Overall, though, I won't feel nearly as bad buying this one on DVD. (I have a weird need to complete sets once I've started them. This is another reason the book Breaking Dawn wasn't in the trash can the second I finished it. Incidentally, I bought Part 1, but haven't watched it.) It's worth a look, even just for the improvement over the book.

Spies or Virals?

Winter isn't here quite yet. But I can feel it coming, and I'm ready for hibernation mode. My problem is that, when I have free time, I'm torn between cleaning, practicing the flute, reading a good book, and watching TV. I usually end up sort of cleaning something while I watch TV. (Mostly, I stand there with cleaning implements in hand, attention on the TV. It's not very effective.) When it gets cold outside, I lose any motivation to clean when I have a minute, and all I want to do is bundle up in a soft blanket and either read or watch TV. Which leads me to the point of this post. It's getting cold outside, especially in the mornings. I've been doing a lot of TV watching and reading.

What have I been watching, you ask? Alias. I watched this entire series 8 years ago when I was pregnant with Jacob and I was in the South in the early part of the sticky, hot summer. After 3 kids and 8 years, I don't remember a thing about what I watched. So when I saw that Netflix was streaming the series, I began watching immediately. Here's what I've learned about being a spy and the seedy underworld in which master criminals operate:

1. No one is ever really dead. They've either faked their death using that stuff from sea urchins, have been cloned, have been cryogenically frozen then brought back to life, or were wearing kevlar without telling their buddies and were relocated to a secret location in the Caymans until the danger was over.

2. Don't trust anyone. Everyone's a double agent. Except Marshall.

3. Bad guys operate out of night clubs. Without exception. This makes it necessary, if you're a spy, to own a large wardrobe consisting of leather mini dresses and spiky jewelry, as well as a large supply of eyeliner and neon colored wigs.

4. Deals between crime lords usually take place behind granaries and industrial parks. There are a lot of those near my house. I'm guessing Ogden is a magnet for organized crime because of all the industrial areas in town.

5. Black sedans and SUVs are bad news.

6. And lastly, a tube of lipstick can be made into anything: a tiny gun, a usb drive, a fingerprint reproducer, a camera, a microphone, a retinal scanner, a parachute. And this is why I can't ever be a spy. I'd be made in seconds if someone saw me casually taking a tube of lipstick out of my purse. My kids don't even know what lipstick is, because they've never seen it at our house.

And what am I reading? A number of books, but now that I've started The Twelve, those books are going by the wayside until I finish this one. The Twelve is book two in a trilogy by Justin Cronin. It's not for the weak of heart. Book one, The Passage, was good enough that when I finished reading it, I had to buy a replacement copy for the friend that loaned it to me. I took it everywhere, and it had finger smudges on the cover from lotion that I was too impatient to rub in all the way before picking up the book again, the corners of the cover were getting a bit rounded and worn, and it got the tiniest bit of water damage from being in the same bag as a sippy cup for 5 minutes, before it got pulled out of the bag and read some more. Please note, book lending friends, that this treatment of a book isn't normal for me, and I make every effort of returning your book in the condition it was in upon lending. Which is why I bought my friend a new one. Anyway, this author knows how to write a good story, and that's why I'm in a bind.

I want to read The Twelve, I want to finish out Alias (is Arvin Sloane really turning back to his evil ways?), my floor needs mopping, and my feet need to be wrapped in a soft soft blanket out of the cold.  

...and After

Well, the contest is over. I'm still waiting to find out who won. I'm pretty sure I didn't win, because some of those other ladies rocked it. But I did pretty well. First, the pictures. The before pictures again (taken August 1st):

 And after (taken October 23):

So there's a difference. I've lost 17 pounds, a number I'm very proud of.   I still have about 4 pounds to go to get to my ideal weight. Not everything is flat and smooth in the right places yet, but I'm really close. And even if I didn't win the contest, I've figured out how much I can eat every day, what foods fill me up without packing on the pounds, and what to avoid. I've also learned a lot of self control. I am a huge fan of desserts. If there are naughty treats in the house, I want to eat them all day, and I did for a long time. I don't anymore. Having to account for every bite of food that goes into my mouth has helped me limit myself to one treat per day, if I can afford it. I still want to stuff my face all the time. But I know how much I'm paying for that indulgence. During the contest, I had one bad week where I didn't lose any weight, but I never had a week where I gained.

I went jeans shopping last week, thanks to my saint of a friend, who watched my kids while I spent an entire morning trying on clothes. For the first time in years, I didn't leave the store feeling horrible. I left with 2 pairs of jeans that were 3 sizes smaller than the ones I'd been wearing. That alone made all of this worth it.

My goal now is to maintain the healthy weight I've achieved, continue using self control, and maybe even get those last 4 pounds off. (It's all in the belly area, which is always the last to go for me. Ugh.) So there you go, folks. Done and done.

Just do it

If you are still reading my blog after all these posts, thanks. Now, if you're reading my blog and you haven't watched Vampire Diaries, WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR? Season 3 was fantastic. I just watched all 5 discs from start to finish. All 3 seasons are on Netflix streaming now. No excuses people. Just do it.

Odds and Ends

I've been a teensy bit busy. So I haven't blogged for a while. Here's what's on my mind:

1. I've had some success with my weight loss goal. I'm down about 10 pounds so far. The problem is that the calories I'm cutting out are trying very hard to be replaced by dollars spent. I can only exercise self control in one area of my life. It's either do well with the budget or do well with the calories. The 10 pounds off my body has been gained in the form of shoes and jewelry. I went shopping on my birthday and bought 3 pairs of shoes and a pair of sunglasses. And I still had some birthday money left, so I went to a jewelry party and bought 5 new necklaces. Then I came home with my necklaces and spent an hour trying to find a new necklace hanger because the 5 new ones were getting tangled up with the other 5 I bought at the last party. And those 10 were getting tangled up with the ones I bought the last time I was trying to lose weight. (I have still not found a necklace storage unit that is satisfactory.) Here's the good news: If I keep this up, when it comes time to take my after picture, I will be skinny and have 200 fabulous accessories to choose from for the picture.

2. My friends and I watched the Pilot episode of "Beverly Hills, 90210." The good one, not that joke the CW threw together a few years ago. The one with the side burns and the bike shorts and the big hair. I remember when I was 13 and it was a brand new show. My parents absolutely forbid me to watch that trash. It was considered scandalous and racy, and I couldn't stand the fact that I wasn't allowed to watch it. Eventually, I went to college and watched every rerun I could get my eyes on. At that point, I was older, and shows had changed. Then we watched it this week, and, besides getting nostalgic over the clothes, I also realized just how much TV has changed in the last 20 years. That episode was cleaner than most cartoons that are on right now. Plus, the hairdos back then were SUH-WEET. I'm looking forward to watching some more. Also, I can take notes on which clothes are going to come back around in style so I can be ahead of the game. I'm on the lookout for some bike shorts to wear under my jean skirt. It's coming up soon, because I saw neon pink jeans at Walmart today.

3. I just finished watching the movie "Bernie." Awesome. I'm not even going to tell you what it's about. Just know Jack Black is in it as a Southerner that's slightly effeminate and who sings a lot. It's based on a true story, and there are a bunch of interviews with small town Southerners. Loved it.

4. Season 3 of Vampire Diaries on DVD is arriving at my house on Tuesday. I'm going to be waiting on my porch.