Saturday night, Tim and I were heading to a church meeting, and I had to try on 3 skirts before I could get one to zip up. And I decided right then and there that it was time for me to get serious. I needed a real plan. One that would reduce the size of my ever-growing posterior and deflate my spare tire. I have been "trying" for 16 months to get off the baby fat, and so far, I've lost a total of 2 pounds. Pathetic. Here's my plan. If you have any additional suggestions, please, suggest away.
1. Exercise. I've moonlighted at exercise for a year now, and have lasted 2 or 3 weeks at the most, before I've gotten sick or travelled or gotten discouraged. I'm doubling up to make up for the lost time. Instrument of Torture #1 is Jillian Michaels' 30 Day Shred. It's painful, it's brutal, it's annoying, and it makes you hurt. And it is extremely effective, and only 25 minutes long. So you may want to die the whole time, but it's over quickly, and every muscle in your body has just gotten a great workout. Tim and I take turns guilting each other into doing it after the boys are in bed. So far it's been working pretty well. Instrument of Torture #2 is the elliptical. It sits by our bed and is a daily reminder of my need to exercise. Tim gets up at the ridiculous hour of 5:20, does his time on the machine, then harasses me until I roll out of bed and do my time. Tim is really good at removing me from bed. Maybe all this exercise will give me enough strength to defend myself from his relentless tickling.
2. Diet. Oh, how I hate that word. I'm using the word hate here. I like food. But not all food. Just the yummy kind. You know, chocolate, creamy sauces, chocolate, filet mignon, ice cream, Wendy's Big Bacon Classic with a Frostee and fries, and chocolate. I don't like vegetables, whole wheat bread, tofu, skim milk, and anything that is labeled as a dessert but doesn't have anything sweet or chocolatey in it. I'm sorry, but an apple with a little bit of cinnamon is NOT dessert. You see why I haven't been losing weight?
So here's my plan, and this is where any helpful suggestions and recipes would be fab. My friend introduced me to the "Eat This, Not That" book series. It lists foods we love and gives us the skinny (or the fat) on its dietary value. For example, a Coldstone shake has something like 3000 calories and 250 grams of fat in it. (!!!) It doesn't just tell you, "Look how bad this stuff is." It says, "Instead of this, eat this equally delicious dish, and it only has 150 calories and 15 grams of fat." That's information that is useful to me. I bought the "Cook This, Not That" book, and it breaks down the types of food we cook (crock pot, stir fry, grill, baked), and makes a list of ingredients that are commonly used in cooking, and rates them from healthiest to unhealthiest. It gives you lists of cooking fats and oils, marinades, spreads, and even cuts of meats. And then it gives you a whole load of recipes, complete with nutritional information. It also compares its meals to a similar restaurant meal and shows how much fat and calories can be cut by cooking at home. So far, I have made Pesto Gnocchi with tomatoes and green beans, and Stuffed Chicken with Roasted Red Peppers and Spinach. They have both tasted fantastic, and have included protein, vegetable and carb. I admit, the Stuffed Chicken was a little stressful (don't overpound your chicken), but at least it tasted super good. So, the plan is to make delicious food that includes veggies without tasting like veggies, stop eating out so much, and keep my portions reasonable. For my other meals, I'm including whole grains (ugh, but jam helps) and healthy cereal. I bought chocolate yogurts to satisfy my sweet tooth. If I know dinner will taste okay, I can live with whole wheat toast and Grape Nuts. No more second helpings, no more delicious white bread sandwiches, and no more making a huge batch of chocolate chip cookies, then eating them all in 2 days.
So, why am I telling you this? This is Part 3 of the plan. If this bores you guys to death, I'm sorry, but I have to put my money where my mouth is. If people I see regularly know that I'm doing this, they'll either notice I'm losing weight, or not losing weight. And I don't want people I know to look at me and say, "Man, she must not be working out anymore. Look at the size of her butt!" (To themselves, of course. If they said it to my face I'd probably slap them.) So please, hold me responsible. I have lofty goals and clothes I love hiding in my basement closet. At I'd at least like to fit into my church clothes that I fit into 2 months ago. Thanks for bearing with me through this long post. It's what I do.
