Word to my sister friend

In my last post I listed some ways I pulled myself out of a funk I'd been in all summer. But what I failed to mention is what woke me up to the fact that I was struggling and needed to pull myself out of my terrible rut. 

This is my friend, Rachel Knecht. She was my roommate for 3 years in college, and we are as kindred as kindred spirits can get. We are both short, but in her family I'm referred to as the Short Rachel, being an inch shorter than her. Her dad would call and ask for "The Tall Rachel" when he wanted to talk. We share a love of ANTM, coloring (I covet that set of crayons she's holding), Mr. Darcy, Mr. Thornton, and chocolate. We get the same jokes. We are soul sisters.

She and I both have August birthdays (a week apart), and she happened to be in town from California the week between our birthdays. So we had a Birthdaypalooza of fun. This week also happened to be one in which I had spent every day moping on my couch, watching trash on TV and feeling bad. So a weekend with Rachel was the shot of joy in my arm of mopeyness that I needed. We colored, we watched America's Next Top Model, we went out and ate delicious food, and we talked and talked and talked. Rachel K. is the sunniest, most positive person I know. She helped me remember all the good things about my life, and that is when I realized I needed to do something about my sad funk. So thanks, sister friend.

The Funk is Gone

I swore I was going to blog regularly all summer. But then I didn't. And I got in a big old funk and didn't feel like doing much of anything, especially not blogging and trying to be witty. I'm still not feeling particularly witty but I'm not in that funk anymore. And here are some things that pulled me out of that funk:

I read this book a few years ago and tossed it aside because I thought it was kind of dumb. Then my parents told me a few weeks ago to go see this movie. They said they'd laughed a lot. I thought maybe I'd get around to it if I could talk a friend into going with me. Then I decided I really needed to get out, and pull myself out of the funk I was in. I figured a silly movie might help. I didn't have high expectations, especially after having read the book. My friend and I hit the theater and caught a late night showing. It was us and a bunch of other women in the theater, and it was like a huge girls' night. At one point a woman sitting somewhere behind us yelled out, "She's got a bird in her hair!" and the whole theater erupted into laughter. We'd already been laughing a lot. I went back and saw it again a week later with the same friend and one other that really needed to see it as well. It's showing up at my doorstep from Amazon the second it's released on DVD. It got horrible reviews. From a bunch of grumpy old men that don't get the joke. It pulled the funk right out of me, and that's all the review I need.

Remember this show? Remember when it was good? I spent a few weeks watching One Tree Hill, and realized it was driving me deeper into the funk I was in. So much angst and drama, and so little joy and humor. I was digging through the DVDs one day to get out the next Animaniacs disc for my son, and ran across my DVDs of Vampire Diaries, season one. Eureka! Oh my, how I've missed that show. I had forgotten how good the first few seasons were. Remember Aunt Jenna? And nice Rick Salzman? And all the pre-Klaus fun? Yeah, I'd forgotten. So. Much. Fun. And watching something that fun pulled me off the couch and into the laundry room. I started putting away toys. I swept the floor. No, this show isn't miraculous or deep. It's just fun, and I needed to remember fun.

I went to visit my sister with my mom back in July, and my sister pulled out the tennis racquets and balls and took us to the tennis courts. I hadn't really played since I was 14 and was taking tennis lessons. I was terrible then, and I'm terrible now, but dang, it's fun! I came back from Colorado, got a racquet and a bucket of balls, snagged a few super cute tennis skirts from Albion, and started playing tennis with my friend. She is much better than me, and played on the team in high school, but I'm getting better, and sometimes I even hit it into the court. Tennis is way more fun than slogging along on a walk or doing sit-ups. Of course, I'm not going to look like What's-Her-Name Sharapova, but it feels great to get outside and move around. In a cute skirt.

And there you go. Feeling down and having a hard time happens. The important thing is pulling yourself out. 

I'm not dead, just lazy

Holy buckets it's been a long time since my last post. I blame Netflix, Hulu+ and my iPad. Also I'm lazy. So here comes a random assortment of thoughts from the last 3 months.

1. I did it. I mountain biked the White Rim Trail for real. See?

It was brutally hard. I walked my bike up (and down) the steepest parts, I got frustrated from time to time, I may have cried a little, and I hopped in the truck when things were looking super duper hard. But I did it. I actually rode my bike for most of the trip, and even ended up with some battle wounds on my knees. At one point I had a meltdown in the middle of the night, after snoring, rain, and a battle with my sleeping bag seemed like just too much for one person to endure. Then I found Tim's spare earplugs, defeated the mummy bag (there may be a slight tear in the top to allow more room for my arms to escape), buried my head, and slept it off. I have never done anything even approaching the physical difficulty of that trip. I was convinced it was going to be no big deal, having prepared by hauling my kids behind me in the trailer up and down the paved hills of North Ogden. Apparently, riding a bike on dirt with big rocks in the way and slippery gravel around is nothing like paved, gently sloping foothills. The fact that I made it out of there is miraculous and I am quite proud of myself. I plan on doing it again. The views were incredible. I got to see parts of Canyonlands that you can only truly enjoy slowly (or in my case, at a snail's pace). It was worth every ache and pain. By the way, I found out what a true champion my husband is. He could have left me in the dust and joined the menfolk ahead of us, but he hung back with me almost the entire time. What a man.

2. We're reading "What Alice Forgot" by Liane Moriarty for book group. I recommended it. I just read it for the second time, and I liked it even more than on the first read. Imagine waking up on the floor of a gym, surrounded by what seem to be strangers, wondering why you're there. Imagine having your husband treat you horribly when you call and tell him you're in the hospital with a giant bump on your head. Imagine being told it's ten years later than you remember, and you've lost 10 years of memories, including the birth of your children. That's the book. It got me thinking, What if I thought it was 2003? My first reaction would be, "Wow. You've really let yourself go. Also, this house is a disaster! When did I stop cleaning?" Mind you, 10 years ago I was a newlywed that was still child free and had a rocking body. I was also taking care of an apartment the size of a postage stamp and had great visions of how pristine my house was going to be, and how nicely decorated, like a magazine. And I was going to be a famous flutist as well as an amazing mom. So, what were you like ten years ago? (Besides younger) Just some thoughts for you to mull over.

3. I'm rewatching Buffy the Vampire Slayer. That's a great show. Also, the flashbacks of Angel in his old days are fantastic. The facial hair alone has got to be enough to make David Boreanez be a tiny bit embarrassed. (I just watched one where he has long hair and a mustache. Glorious.) If you still haven't watched it, you should. Seriously. (You can skip a lot of the last few seasons, but don't skip the episode called "Hush" or the one where everyone is singing. Those, you must watch.)

4. I got an iPad for Mothers' Day. I've turned into a complete couch potato. And I'm addicted to Candy Crush Saga. I'm in trouble.

That's it. That's what I have to say.

Another Fitness Goal

Remember when I did my weight loss contest? I put it all out there with pictures and my deep down feelings. And I finished my contest, and posted my results, and even put a picture of myself in a swimsuit on Facebook. And then the coldest, most miserable winter came. I'm not going to say I gained a bunch of weight, because I didn't. What I did gain is flab. I turned into a tired, lazy blob on my couch. I did jumping jacks now and then to feel less guilty about all my loafing. I was feeling like winter was NEVER GOING TO END. Then my mom called and invited Tim and me to go on the White Rim Trail with her and a bunch of other fantastic people. It was like the clouds parted, the bad air lifted, and I could see the light at the end of the horrid tunnel of winter. But here's the thing: The White Rim Trial is 100 miles long, and we're doing it over the course of 4 days. That averages 25 miles a day on a bike. I have a very nice bike, who has been waiting patiently for the past 10 years to be taken onto dirt. Meaning, I haven't ridden my bike for real for 10 years.

So here are my goals for the next 6 weeks:
1. To not have a sore bum while riding, because I'm already used to it. Guess what? I've already accomplished that goal, and it's only been a few weeks! Done! (I only listed it here so I can feel like I'm making some progress.)
2. To not have a heart attack while going up a hill. Also to not have my lungs burst while going up a hill. Or, more accurately, I'd like to not feel like both of those things will occur every time there's a little slope in the road. Today on my ride I was seriously concerned for my body and its limits. I didn't die, so I'm on my way!
3. To be able to ride for 20 miles at a stretch. I'm not sure how I'm going to accomplish this. I need to find a route near my house that doesn't involve hauling the trailer with my precious children encased inside it onto busy roads with wackadoo drivers right and left. Which is a challenge. The ride to the library is only 4 miles, round trip.
4. My final goal is to get to Canyonlands, get on that trail, and kick its butt (sorry for the language, mom). I don't want to be the sad girl at the back, sobbing because it's just too hard (there's one in every season on the Amazing Race. I know the type, and I might be it). I also don't want to spend the whole time in the truck, being a wimp. I got all those fancy biking shorts and gloves and bike computer and shoes and special biking socks so I can ride my bike. So, basically, I want to have a good time on the trip in May, on my bike.

It's the first time in my life that I look forward to getting on my bike every day. I have friends that tell me that they used to hate running, but now they're addicted to it, and love it, and it doesn't make them miserable anymore. I can't picture myself ever feeling that way about running. Ever. But I used to dread getting on my bike because it hurt my bum, and it was hard, and my legs got tired. But after just a few weeks of riding regularly, I'm starting to love it. On days I don't have time to get on my bike, I feel antsy about it. This morning I went on a ride in 35 degree weather, and even though I froze my bum off, I felt energized and accomplished. (My toes are still thawing, but I'm glad I did it.) I get what my friends were talking about. I just had to find the right kind of exercise, and it's not running. Tomorrow I'm going to try a new route. Maybe I won't feel like I'm dying as much when I hit that hill.

Reevaluating my TV Priorities

It's been a while since I posted about TV shows, right? Even if I have, I still have some things to say.

1. Vampires. I just need to reiterate how disappointed I am in Season 4 of Vampire Diaries. It's become BORING. Even the last episode, which FINALLY had a twist and turn at the end almost lost me half way through because they were still doing the same things they'd been doing for the last 4 episodes, which is blabbing on and on about The Cure (not the band--that would have been more interesting), and who wants it more, and what about that evil Silas guy. The point is, I expect a few throw away episodes in a season, but every single one has been a throw away. The last 5 minutes of the last episode gives me a tiny nugget of hope, but honestly, I've been recommending this show left and right, and now I'm starting to be a little embarrassed by that fact.

The good news is that Being Human is a few episodes into Season 3, and it puts all other vampire/werewolf/ghosty shows to shame. We got rid of our dish and DVR, which means I have to scrounge around for online airings of shows, which we mostly take care of through Hulu+, but the shows on syfy aren't there. Thankfully, I discovered that my phone streams the new episodes, and I spent an entire afternoon neglecting my kids and catching up on the season. It makes up for the snoozefest of Vampire Diaries. I will still recommend this show left and right. (Except to my friends that don't handle lots of blood very well. You know who you are.)

2. International Travel  Because I'm now hooked into Hulu+, I've discovered some shows I never watched before. I'm addicted to Amazing Race. ADDICTED. I'm on Season 8 and I started Season 1 less than 2 weeks ago. I've had the benefit of traveling quite a bit, but these guys bounce from continent to continent and see the most amazing places that I couldn't have imagined existing, and do the most amazing things. For example, there was a place somewhere in Asia in Season 1 where there were Bengal tigers that had been raised by monks, and each team had to send one person through the tiger refuge to get their next clue. The tigers were on chains, but they could still reach the people walking through, and some of the contestants were getting batted in the ankles and hands by giant tigers. It was awesome. The teams have had to do crazy bungee jumps, sky diving, zip lines, snorkeling, kayaking, and a million other difficult tasks. The ones that really give them hangups are the food challenges, like eating live octopus, 2 lbs of caviar, bugs, etc. Gross stuff. The funniest one was a super ego who had to eat an entire ostrich egg, but he got to cook it first. He threw up like four times. It was eggs. But he could sky dive.

The teams go through a lot. They're exhausted, hungry, jet-lagged, and stressed out, and I cry every time one of them gets eliminated. Unless they're total jerks. The team that wins really earns that million bucks. It's brutal. And I love every second of it. Also, I'm convinced that I have family members that would do well on the show. I'm not one of them. I'd be the one having meltdowns every episode. No thanks. But it would sure be fun to watch my dad, or my siblings, or any combination of them.

3. Hibernation I'm in hibernation. I've accepted that. I have no desire to go outside or be active or be social right now. And when those urges strike me, I'm usually holding a sleeping baby that has crashed on my lap because he's sick, or I have plans for the next 24 hours and one of the kids pukes on the kitchen floor. It's been that kind of winter. And I was actually getting excited about taking the stroller out for a whirl, and it was warming up, and I got up this morning and BOOM! 4 inches of snow! So I'm accepting the fact that I am, in fact, a being who hibernates in the winter, and I will emerge in the Spring.

Speaking of Spring, my mom and my sister knew I was giving up on winter and throwing in the towel, and invited Tim and me to join them and a bunch of other people on a 100-mile bike trip in Canyonlands, called the White Rim Trail. My parents go on this trip every other year, and last time, Tim went and I stayed home with a bun in the oven. I was dying of envy, and, thanks to some fabulous friends, we get to ditch the kids for 4 days and I get to come along this time. I've already started shopping. Because really, isn't that the best part of a new adventure? The clothes? We also ordered an indoor bike trainer (you hook up your bike to it, and then plop it in front of the TV, and you can practice riding 20 miles in a stretch, all while watching Amazing Race!), which will be arriving on Tuesday. I'm looking forward to a new fitness challenge. My goal is to not cry the whole bike ride in Canyonlands. I wouldn't want to look silly. What I'd really like is to get to the point on my bike that I can hop on without dreading the pain. It should be fun! So in May, once I've returned, I'll be posting a whole bunch of pictures of me not crying in Southern Utah, looking super cool in really expensive shorts.

Well, Season 8 of Amazing Race won't wait forever for me. (Actually, it might. But I'm not willing to risk it.) Over and out.

Nerdy Sad Clown

I have a few random things on my mind, so here you go.

The Beach I just spent a week in California. I totally get it now. I've always been in there in the Spring and Summer. I thought, Sure, it's a nice place, but MAN is it crowded! Every time you think you're getting off the freeway you're getting onto another one. (You know that scene in Clueless when they FREAK OUT when Deon gets onto the freeway on accident? It makes total sense, once you've been on the roads in California.) The beaches were nice and all, but then you get all sandy and gross, and salt gets your swimsuit all crusty. Then I went to California in January. And suddenly, the traffic wasn't that big a deal because it was 80 DEGREES OUTSIDE. We went to the beach, and the sand and salt were just minor problems because it was 80 DEGREES OUTSIDE. One day sitting in the sunshine after I left subzero temperatures changed my life. So my plan is to get super rich, buy a beach house, and live in California from November until May. (Do you hear that, Tim? I hope you're on board.) And I know I'm not wearing my super cute new swimsuit here. It requires some personal grooming I just didn't have time for before the beach.

Super Nerd I've seen Napoleon Dynamite. I know fanny packs are totally nerdy. But guess what? They're also super duper handy. I came home from the store last weekend with a fanny pack, and Tim looked at me with raised eyebrows and asked, "Are you planning on wearing that?" And my reply was, "Dude. I'm going to be wearing tennis shoes with my shorts. I'm already going to look like a nerd. What's the problem?" Let me list for you the benefits of a fanny pack when going to Disneyland (or any theme park).

1.Girls' pants, shorts and jeans are made with teeny tiny pockets. My phone is just about the size of a small tablet. My phone is fine in my tiny pockets when I'm walking around my house. But when I'm going to be spending three days in Disneyland, getting in and out of rides, sitting and standing repeatedly, and my phone is essential to communicating with my family, I'm not going to risk it falling out on Space Mountain, never to be seen again.
2. I also have no desire to have a wallet in my back pocket. I suppose I could have stuffed my cash and credit cards and ID into my tiny pockets, but again, risking that stuff falling out wasn't an option.
3. Cross-body bags and purses are fantastic. But I bet you can't feel your phone buzzing in a noisy park when it's buried in a backpack or at the bottom of your purse. I never missed a call while I was there.
4. Hands free, baby.
5. I had candy and hand sanitizer right at my fingertips.

I looked super nerdy. I won't be wearing it to the mall or anything. I was the only one I saw with a fanny pack. But I didn't lose my phone or wallet while I was there. I knew where all my stuff was. I had both hands free, which came in handy for wrestling a toddler and super energetic little boys. So I totally rocked the fanny pack.

Sad Clown Syndrome One of the fabulous parts of my trip this last week was an evening with my amazing friend Rachel. We had gelato at a little cafe, and chatted about topics from A to Z. One of the things we talked about was our shared ability to cry at the drop of a hat. When I was in high school, I managed my crying habit pretty well by acting goofy all the time. We watched "Dead Poets Society" in my English class, and I bawled at the end, and this girl that sat in front of me turned around and said, "I didn't know you knew how to cry!" Anyone who knows me now has seen me cry many times. Rachel and I were talking about this, and decided we needed a name and a support group for this problem. We call it Sad Clown Syndrome. We are happy people who make jokes and act goofy to keep from being in tears. It was great to talk to someone else who has had total meltdowns in the church bathroom/gym/library. Want to join our support group? Here are the symptoms:
1. The Biggest Loser, eliminations on the Bachelor and ANTM, and commercials for St. Jude reduce you to a puddle of tears.
2. Nicholas Sparks movies and books are too much.
3. You've been seen crying in the church bathroom.
4. Everyone you know has seen you cry.
5. You crack jokes a lot, especially when you feel the tears starting to flow.
If you have experienced three or more of these symptoms, you suffer from Sad Clown Syndrome, and should contact me at once. We'll watch Strictly Ballroom.

The Season 4 Curse Lastly, I'd like to note that the fourth season of almost every show I like is crappy. For example, I'm pretty sure that's the season Smallville got really weird and lame. Am I correct in saying that season 4 of Gilmore Girls is when Rory turned into a tart? Season 4 of Lost was pointless (remember the buried alive episode? Stupid). I'm sad to say that it's starting to look like Season 4 of Vampire Diaries is following suit. The Christmas episode was RIDICULOUS. And by ridiculous I mean stupid. I like having complete sets of books and movies and TV shows, but I may not be buying Season 4. Has anyone else noticed this pattern?

There you go. I'm a nerd who cries a lot and is obsessed with TV. I'm off to clean out my fanny pack.

Best of 2012

It's a new year, and I'm looking forward to whatever's ahead. Except for trips to Walmart. I know I'll be doing them, and I never look forward to trips to Walmart. But now for a quick look at the past year. Here are some highlights:

1. A yellow Miata. I had actually begun to think I'd never ever learn how to drive stick, because really, how many minivans come with a stick shift. It came at a great time, when I was starting to feel like I'd never leave the house without 3 kids in tow ever again. There's no back seat in that car, and it's a great date car, or a zooming around with the passenger seat and tiny trunk full of shopping bags car. Plus, at 35 years old, I learned how to drive stick.

2. Performing on my flute with my sister and parents. That was a wonderful opportunity for me to reacquaint myself with my old, disciplined, musician self. I worked hard, I prepared well, and I had a great time. And my kids thought it was really cool. It helped me remember that I can still play the flute with my kids hanging around the house.

3. Netflix is finally streaming some darn good stuff. Tim and I are addicted to Psych. I've watched all 5 seasons of Alias this year. Revenge is now on Netflix. The first season of Downton Abbey is there (um, waiting for season 2. Come on, people!). (There are also an endless number of Power Rangers series on there, but we're being positive right now.) I have discovered shows like Roswell and Burn Notice that I just kind of skipped over when they were new on TV. This may seem like a lot of TV. It is. But think about why I've been in front of the TV so much...

4. My sweet sweet little Joshua. He was born in 2011, but the majority of his life up until now has been in 2012. I spent the first 8 months of 2012 feeding him on the couch in front of my beloved Netflix. It's a good reason to watch TV. He is such a sweet baby, and I have enjoyed countless snuggles with him, day and night. He's a toddler now, really, so I'm celebrating his babyhood by remembering all those sweet times we had together.

5. Entertaining books. There are always great books to be had. I read some fun, if not super deep, books this year. You've already heard about "The Passage." And I thoroughly enjoyed a book called "What Alice Forgot." It was interesting and thought-provoking. And had some humor, too, which I deeply appreciate. I just finished "The Night Circus," which I also enjoyed. I read "Divergent" and "Insurgent" this year, too, and they were both a fun and interesting read. (Nothing too deep here, but please remember, I was enjoying snuggles with Joshua at 4am regularly. Not really in the mindset this year for deep thinking.) I love a good book. I can't wait to read more this year.

6. Reaching a goal. I lost some weight. It made me happy. 'Nuf said.

So, here comes 2013. I hope I can find more good books to read, enjoy spending time with my boys, discover more great TV, play my flute and enjoy it, and drive that Miata to all my favorite stores. I would also be glad not to gain all that weight back. (Evil evil M&Ms, teasing me from the pantry...)

Happy new year!