The Question on Every Housewife's Lips

As you may have noticed, I've added a teeny tiny little poll to my blog. This is because there is a lot of buzz this week about the release of the final (let's hope) installment of the Twilight series by Stephenie Meyer. In preparation for this big release, I have reread the first two books and am currently working my way through "Eclipse." I feel that, while these things are fresh in my mind, it is time to discuss them. CAUTION: SPOILER ALERT!!! If you haven't read the books and plan to, I'd sit the rest of this one out.

I read "Twilight" last year at the recommendation of a few friends who had teenage daughters. They told me it was a fun summer read and never warned me that it was also a series that was unfinished. ARGH!!!! So I read it, enjoyed it, and realized as I reached the last pages and saw the first chapter of the NEXT book that I had been snared into yet another series. Since I enjoyed the first book, I was less annoyed by the fact that the second book was still in hardback and the third was about to be released than had I hated the book. Once I start a series, it's hard to stop. You know how it is. So I was dismayed by the fact that the second book, "New Moon" was far less appealing and spent hundreds of unneeded pages covering a teenager mooning about and whining about the hole in her chest. I still somewhat enjoyed the parts with Jacob in them (who couldn't? he's great!), and made it to the long-anticipated face-off in Italy. The third book, "Eclipse" took much less time getting to the action, but a lot more time focusing on Bella and Edward's constant kissing. Gross. But, on a first read, it didn't seem so bad, and I made it to the end, expecting a resolution of all the issues that had arisen in the three books. But alas, I was mistaken. Hooray that I can confidently say that this Saturday, I can finally put these books to rest.

You superfans may wonder, why would you want to put these wonderful books to rest? Okay, superfans, please forgive me, but there are a few things I've discovered in the last few reads that have tainted my opinion. We drove to Kansas last Christmas, and, since it's a very long drive with nothing to look at, and since I don't get sick in the car when I read, I thought I'd read them aloud to my husband. Believe me, it is so much worse out loud. As I mentioned in the above paragraph, "New Moon" spent a lot of time talking about Bella's heartbreak. As a woman who has been dumped before, I respect that it is a horrible and unpleasant experience, that it can sometimes take a long time to get over, and that as a teenager things seem infinitely worse. But for crying in the mud! This is a book!!!! You can say in one sentence, "Bella's heartache was so great that her chest felt empty, so much so that a hole seemed to exist." And to let you know it took a while, "8 months went by with no reprieve from her pain. She was devastated." You get what I'm saying. I did appreciate that there were 3 or 4 chapters that just mentioned the month. But I felt like the book could have been about 100 pages shorter. And when you're reading it out loud to a man, it feels a bit melodramatic. I'm just saying. As for Eclipse, I was grateful that the hole in the chest was gone, but it was replaced by a lot of Bella and Edward making out. Which also feels a little strange to read aloud, even to your spouse. I actually skipped over a few pages because I couldn't make myself read it. I know that compared to most adult lit, this is mild, but I was disappointed at how much making out is involved in the book, and how sensual it is. Meyer is setting an example for a bunch of teenage girls, and I was dismayed at how far she let it go and how detailed her descriptions were. Really, like hormonal teenagers need more motivation. So, maybe she could say, "Bella enjoyed kissing Edward. It was the first time she'd felt this way about anyone, and it excited her." But enough tracing chins with noses and lips and heavy cold breathing (weird). So those are my complaints. At least the basic ones.

Now back to my poll. I am extremely curious about the end of the last book. I've noticed that Meyer doesn't really explain the process Bella goes through falling in love with Edward, except that he's the most breathtaking man she's ever seen. Then she very carefully describes the friendship Bella develops with Jacob, which, to me seems a lot more like falling in love. They become friends, they're honest from the outset, they have a few arguments, they spend lots of time doing normal things together, they hold hands, they get to know each other through conversation, and Bella describes him as a sun that brings brightness to her life. Hmmmm....You can probably guess who my vote is for. Plus, I'd rather kiss someone that is warm than someone who feels like marble. So, please, vote away. We'll be finding out Saturday how it all comes out in the end. Good luck to Stephenie Meyer.

Just your average neighborhood

I live in a very safe, very normal neighborhood. As a result, anything remotely unusual tends to result in lots of excited conversations at book group, girls' night, backyard barbecues, etc. So imagine the sensation a polygamist family can cause on a hot summer's day when nothing all that great has happened in a while.

There is a lovely house across the street that has been inhabited by renters since we moved in last year (I don't know how long before that). It was recently vacated and a "For Sale" sign went up. A few days later a giant SUV pulled in under cover of darkness (how can you resist watching from your porch when you're getting new neighbors, right?) and moved someone in (more renters, since the sign is still up). The next morning there were cute blond children wandering around in the yard wearing old-fashioned nightgowns (really, right from Little House on the Prairie). Later in the day those same children plus a few more were outside playing in pioneer dresses (for the girls) and flannel, long-sleeved shirts tucked into Wranglers with big belt buckles (boys). One of my neighbors came over for a chat and we started speculating, and came to the conclusion that they are fundamentalists. Having been oblivious to most news items and living outside of Utah for a time, I forgot that fundamentalists means polygamists. It finally hit me when the dad mowed the lawn and two wives surrounded by 5 or 6 children sat on the porch to watch. Awesome. There are rumors of two other wives that moved in late one night a few weeks ago. I can't tell them apart, to be honest. I've seen two at a time.

The kids all seem very well-behaved and very quiet. I actually wondered if there was some sort of vow of silence they all have to take. Then I was bringing in the mail for our neighbors that were on vacation and one of the little boys was standing in the front yard, staring at me (maybe we look just as weird to them as they do to us) and I heard him say to the girl standing next to him, "She's stealin' their MAIL!!!" They glared at me and watched everything I did the rest of the day. I can still feel their little eyes watching, waiting for me to commit another felony. They probably refer to me as the Pants-wearing, mail-stealing criminal from across the street.

I've considered taking cookies over. Actually, I meant to the week they moved in, before I realized they were polygamists. The fact that they are practicing polygamy has nothing to do with the fact that I haven't done it yet. I'm just not very good at following up on good intentions. I'm worried that now if I take cookies over, they will think I'm either trying to bribe their children into silence about the mail theft, or trying to peek into their strange lives. I am sure they know they are the subject of neighborhood gossip. How could you not be, in an average neighborhood like this one. RaeAnne, maybe we could take cookies over together. They don't consider you a criminal. At least, I don't think so.

Stuck in fantasy land

It's summer, and for some reason, all the hot sun and outdoor activities make me feel like reading fluff. So I have spent a good part of the summer thus far reading different fantasy novels. I've come to the following conclusion: most fantasy writers are thieves.

I just read the final book in Sharon Shinn's Twelve Houses series, titled "Reader and Raelynx." It was entertaining, it wrapped up the series nicely, and, in true Sharon Shinn style, there was a satisfying romance as well. So, two thumbs up. I moved on to "The Blue Sword" by Robin McKinley, which I read in 9th grade and loved. After reading a few chapters I started recognizing certain elements that I had just read in Sharon Shinn's books. Sharon Shinn's books are newer, so I suppose she's the guilty one in this particular theft. Both books have heroins that have mysterious pasts and powers that are unexplained, cause them to overheat, and tend to cause things to explode. There are King's Riders in both authors' books, who are more loyal to the king than to their own families. I suppose both authors followed a formula that dates back to Tolkien, since both of them have a lot of elements that seem to come straight from his books as well. I've also read the first two Fablehaven books this summer (Brandon Mull), which I thought were excellent, but, once again, they stole elements from other novels that came before them. I guess when there are 5 million fantasy writers out there, things get repeated. It helps you know what to expect. Bad guys are usually black, reptilian creatures with foul breath; evil magic makes you cold, good magic burns and crackles; the hero/heroin is usually the unlikely figure (clumsy, poor, untalented, or 8 years old); there are at least 4 books to read. (Don't get me started on the Wheel of Time series--I made it to book 3 and got too tired of keeping track of things, plus decided I'd just reread Lord of the Rings because it's the same with better writing.)

I'm not going to stop reading fluff. I just finished "The Blue Sword" and have started "The Hero and the Crown", also by Robin McKinley. I have the third Fablehaven book (Brandon Mull) on my hold list at the library, and Stephenie Meyer's final vampire book is coming out in a few weeks. Once it's cold again and I'm trapped inside to read I'll pick up something substantial like "1776" or "Les Miserables." For now I'll read my fantasy novels and enjoy the thievery.

By the way, if you like reading fantasy, here are some authors I enjoy:

Sharon Shinn (she may have stolen a little, but her books are very enjoyable)
Robin McKinley (I recommend "Beauty")
Brandon Mull
Robert Asprin
Orson Scott Card (sci-fi, not fantasy, but they are in the same section at the bookstore)
Diana Wynne Jones (Witch Week is my favorite)

Back to my book.

One Small Step

Yes, I've joined the world of bloggers. I am guessing that when this posts my blog will not be pretty or creative-looking or eye-catching. That's because I have no idea what I'm doing. I figure I can get some help from my computer-savvy hubby later and he can be my tutor in computer geek world. But for now, since I have a minute, here I am.

I swore I would never do a blog for the following reasons:
1. I thought it would be a cop out for emailing friends, and I considered myself a good enough correspondent.
2. I am completely intimidated by all things computer that involve any kind of creativity or editing skills.
3. I don't really have that much to say.

After spending hours poring over friends' blogs and commenting on them and enjoying their posts, I realized a few things:
1. Blogs are fun.
2. I'm a horrible correspondent and no one ever knows what's going on with me.
3. I feel like having a place to complain about crappy books and promote good movies.

So here I am. Ready to rant and rave and promote!