Scattered Brain

The review I did of Breaking Dawn is glaring at me every time I look at my blog. I'm not saying I'm sorry I did it, I'm saying, it's been a while since I posted and I'm guessing the 3 people who read my blog would probably appreciate something new to look at. The problem is, I just don't have that much to say right now. I think my problem is that I'm 7 months pregnant and my brain retains about 20 seconds of information before it turns to mush and I can't think anymore. So I'm going to list a few random things that are on my mind that wouldn't really warrant a full post.

1. Am I an old fogey, because I just don't get what the big deal is with texting! I realize I am way behind the times here, but I'd like to know why it's so great. If I were in high school, or even college, and had something really urgent to say to a friend in the middle of class, like, "Oh my heck, that new guy is HOT!" or "Your fly is down. LOL," I'd get it. But it seems like most grown-ups are doing it, too. In the middle of movies and conversations and fun nights out. It seems like, since it doesn't make noise, it's perfectly acceptable to carry on a text conversation in the middle of dinner while people are trying to carry on a conversation with you VERBALLY. You know, when you talk to people in person? I don't want to make this post turn into "How to Lose Friends and Alienate People," so if you love texting, I love you, but I just don't get it. It seems like we're losing our ability to interact with other people face to face. (And here I am, on my computer writing a blog. I know it's a little hypocritical.) I'm a proud owner of a pre-paid, emergency-only Tracfone, and I ask you to please explain.

2. I love the TV show "So You Think You Can Dance." I really enjoyed this past season, and, being a Utahn, I was happy to cheer on our 4 representatives. Of course, I never vote on shows. Too lazy. I just yell at the TV when someone gets the boot that didn't deserve it. So I was very sad to see Chelsea from Pleasant Grove get sent home instead of what's-her-name from Jersey. I really missed Shane Sparks as a judge and choreographer this season, and wondered where he'd gone until I tuned into "America's Best Dance Crew" and saw that he'd become a judge there. I guess that's more his scene than trying to analyze a Fox Trot, but I wish he'd come back to SYTYCD. Any other fans out there? Remember last season's Transformer dance with Pasha and Lauren? So much fun. Now there's a new hip hop choreography team, Tabatha and Napoleon, and I'm sure they are great, but every dance they do is all touchy-feely and has some complex back story. How about just for fun? Besides the disappearance of Shane Sparks, though, I think the show is improving each season. I think Cat Deeley is a fantastic host (have you ever seen Ryan Seacrest outside in the blowing snow interviewing hopefuls and doing a happy dance with them? I know I haven't). I thought the dancers this year were fantastic. And I was very happy that Josh the street dancer won. He was amazing. I just wonder if he'll disappear like Sabra, the winner from last season, did. I hope not.

3. On the continued subject of TV, has anyone else started writing the dates of the new seasons on their September calendars? After a really boring summer of TV reruns and (mostly) lame reality shows, I am thrilled to have my shows back: "The Office," "Chuck," "House, MD," "Ugly Betty," "America's Next Top Model," "Dancing With the Stars," and others that I can't think of right now. I saw the teaser for "The Office" while watching the Olympics last night with my husband and we both shouted with joy. I miss Dwight. I just wish the last week of September were sooner. Of course, at that point my feet will be twice their normal size and I'll be happy to make it from bed down the stairs to the couch in time for my shows.

4. Does it bother anyone else that Walmart won't even put your bags in your cart anymore? It's not just that they won't do it, they start putting other people's stuff in bags before you've had a chance to lift the 50 lb. box of detergent from the top of the bag carousel into your cart. And they give you this look like you're IN THE WAY. I love that they stack 3 gallons of milk and a carton of eggs on top, then double up the bags, all while you're answering their 50 questions about whether the store was clean (no) and did the checker greet you (no) and is this amount okay (3 times). Boo on Walmart. I swore when I moved away from the South that I would never shop there again, but when there's non-food stuff to buy as well as groceries, the 5 minute drive seems so convenient compared to the 25 minutes to Target. So not worth it. I made a goal this week that the 25 minutes would NOT matter and I will boycott Walmart until they start doing their job (which is never).

Yep, that's what's been on my mind this week. Not a whole lot. It's clear I've been to Walmart recently and that there's nothing to watch on TV. Now I'm off to figure out dinner.

Just your average neighborhood

I live in a very safe, very normal neighborhood. As a result, anything remotely unusual tends to result in lots of excited conversations at book group, girls' night, backyard barbecues, etc. So imagine the sensation a polygamist family can cause on a hot summer's day when nothing all that great has happened in a while.

There is a lovely house across the street that has been inhabited by renters since we moved in last year (I don't know how long before that). It was recently vacated and a "For Sale" sign went up. A few days later a giant SUV pulled in under cover of darkness (how can you resist watching from your porch when you're getting new neighbors, right?) and moved someone in (more renters, since the sign is still up). The next morning there were cute blond children wandering around in the yard wearing old-fashioned nightgowns (really, right from Little House on the Prairie). Later in the day those same children plus a few more were outside playing in pioneer dresses (for the girls) and flannel, long-sleeved shirts tucked into Wranglers with big belt buckles (boys). One of my neighbors came over for a chat and we started speculating, and came to the conclusion that they are fundamentalists. Having been oblivious to most news items and living outside of Utah for a time, I forgot that fundamentalists means polygamists. It finally hit me when the dad mowed the lawn and two wives surrounded by 5 or 6 children sat on the porch to watch. Awesome. There are rumors of two other wives that moved in late one night a few weeks ago. I can't tell them apart, to be honest. I've seen two at a time.

The kids all seem very well-behaved and very quiet. I actually wondered if there was some sort of vow of silence they all have to take. Then I was bringing in the mail for our neighbors that were on vacation and one of the little boys was standing in the front yard, staring at me (maybe we look just as weird to them as they do to us) and I heard him say to the girl standing next to him, "She's stealin' their MAIL!!!" They glared at me and watched everything I did the rest of the day. I can still feel their little eyes watching, waiting for me to commit another felony. They probably refer to me as the Pants-wearing, mail-stealing criminal from across the street.

I've considered taking cookies over. Actually, I meant to the week they moved in, before I realized they were polygamists. The fact that they are practicing polygamy has nothing to do with the fact that I haven't done it yet. I'm just not very good at following up on good intentions. I'm worried that now if I take cookies over, they will think I'm either trying to bribe their children into silence about the mail theft, or trying to peek into their strange lives. I am sure they know they are the subject of neighborhood gossip. How could you not be, in an average neighborhood like this one. RaeAnne, maybe we could take cookies over together. They don't consider you a criminal. At least, I don't think so.