I've seen this on a few friends' blogs, and thought it was kind of fun. And it made me realize I've done very little that involves donating money or doing charity. Shame on me! So, this is kind of like the game "I've Never" only in reverse. Change the color to red on the ones you've done:
1. Started your own blog--ta da!
2. Slept under the stars--when I was little. Now I think too much about bugs crawling around in the grass.
3. Played in a band--does marching band and symphonic band count?
4. Visited Hawaii
5. Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than you can afford to charity
7. Been to Disneyland
8. Climbed a mountain--Mount Timpanogos every year for about 10 years. I don't think I'd make it now.
9. Held a praying mantis
10. Sang a solo
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch--as long as you consider duct tape purses art.
15. Adopted a child
16. Had food poisoning
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty--I only made it to the toes. Wimpy.
18. Grown your own vegetables--they weren't edible, though.
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. Slept on an overnight train
21. Had a pillow fight
22. Hitch hiked
23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill
24. Built a snow fort
25. Held a lamb
26. Gone skinny dipping
27. Run a Marathon
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset
31. Hit a home run
32. Been on a cruise
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person--from New York and Canada
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
35. Seen an Amish community--the lovely town of Intercourse, PA. True fact. It's a real place, and I have the pictures to prove it. Good pretzels!
36. Taught yourself a new language--Southerner language. The other ones have been taught to me.
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied--ah, to be single and carefree with money again!
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone rock climbing
40. Seen Michelangelo’s David
41. Sung karaoke--in Korean with some RMs that had been there on their mission.
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
44. Visited Africa
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight
46. Been transported in an ambulance
47. Had your portrait painted--if caricatures done by a street artist count.
48. Gone deep sea fishing
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud
54. Gone to a drive-in theater
55. Been in a movie
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies
62. Gone whale watching
63. Got flowers for no reason
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma
65. Gone sky diving
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp
67. Bounced a check
68. Flown in a helicopter
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71. Eaten Caviar--so gross.
72. Pieced a quilt
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a bone--try 7.
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Published a book
81. Visited the Vatican (I don't know if standing outside the walls counts, but I did see the Pope from a distance.)
82. Bought a brand new car
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had your picture in the newspaper
85. Read the entire Bible
86. Visited the White House--Like the Vatican, I was on the outside looking in because I didn't want to get up at 5am to get in line. So, I've sort of visited the White House.
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
88. Had chickenpox
89. Saved someone’s life
90. Sat on a jury
91. Met someone famous--I was 10 feet away from Bon Jovi, Christina Agulera, Harry Connick, Jr. (who looked at me after I accidently screamed, "It's Harry Connick Jr!" really really loud), and NSYNC. But I have actually met a few General Authorities that came to different concerts I was in, so I think that really counts.
92. Joined a book club
93. Lost a loved one
94. Had a baby--not just one, but TWO!!!
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake--gross. Don't ever want to.
97. Been involved in a law suit--I was the secretary for a company that did accident reconstruction for law suits, so I think that sort of counts, since I had to do all the scheduling surrounding their involvement in the law suits.
98. Owned a cell phone
99. Been stung by a bee
100. Seen Mount Rushmore in person
101. Learned to play an instrument
So, it looks like I have some things left to do in my life, like bungee jumping and publishing a book. But I think I've had a pretty great life, looking at all the fun things I've done!
Friday, November 21, 2008
Monday, November 10, 2008
1995
First, a warning: Mom and Dad, this post may seem boring to you, because I will be referring to a bunch of pop culture that you most likely either don't remember or wish you didn't remember.
You know that song by Bowling for Soup, "1985," that talks about a woman who is stuck in the 80s? Well, I came to a realization a few days ago, while riding in the car with my husband. We were listening to the radio, the same station I've been listening to since my freshman year of college, and a song came on that neither of us had ever heard, by someone we'd never heard of. We are old fogies. I am that woman from that Bowling for Soup song, except that instead 1985, I'm stuck in 1995. Here is proof:
1. My husband and I recorded all 5 hours of VH1's 100 Best Songs of the 90s, then stayed up all night watching it and reminiscing about back in the day when music was good. Back when people still knew who Pearl Jam was and when REM was touring. We knew all of the songs on the list. We even noticed which songs were missing that should have been included. If they do the same thing for this decade I may get lucky and recognize a few songs that made it into movies I saw.
2. The radio station I used to listen to (101.9, the End, which I was true and faithful to) had their flashback lunch, and I was expecting some early Depeche Mode, but got "Champagne Supernova" by Oasis instead. Which came out while I was in college. They referred to Oasis as a classic band. Remember the line from "1985" "When did Motley Crue become classic rock?" That actual lyric popped into my head when the DJ said Oasis was classic. I actually switched stations to X96 (my brother will be amazed, I think, that I listen to that station, because I am a fogie) because they play more 90s alternative than my old station. And they just call it good stuff, not classics.
3. My friends that are younger than me (and not by that much, actually) talk about bands all the time that I've never heard of. For example, I have now heard of Dashboard Confessional and Panic at the Disco, but I feel completely out of the loop, because I don't know their music at all. I used to pride myself in college for knowing who sang what song and being up on all the new stuff. Actually, my husband and I kind of make a game of it with songs from his iPod, which are all from the 90s. Yeah, we're fogies.
4. I still wear Gap jeans and T-shirts and the same sweaters I wore in 1995. And I have 6 pairs of Doc Martins. If you are wondering what Doc Martins are, look up 1995 fashion.
5. I feel betrayed by Bon Jovi, because I found out a while back that he was releasing a country album. Country!!! This is Bon Jovi, whose concerts I have attended, who thought I was a crazy stalker at the Olympic closing ceremonies because I was standing on my chair in the orchestra pit 10 feet away and screaming "I LOVE YOU!" I don't feel that way anymore, Mr. Jovi. And I just haven't connected like that with any of the more recent singers. Because I don't know who they are.
6. Some younger friends have commented in the past on my funny prom dresses. Funny as in old and out of date. I still don't get what's funny.
7. I still use the word awesome a lot. And I am not opposed to the use of the word rad. Like, I think "Smells Like Teen Spirit" is an awesome song, but not as rad as anything on U2's Joshua Tree album.
8. When someone tells me their car was made in 1995, I still think of it as kind of new. Not 13 years old and ready to retire. I saw a Mazda Miata in the parking lot at Walmart the other day, and I'm pretty sure it was a model from around 1995. It looked old, and not so hot anymore. It was kind of a shock.
Is anyone else with me? I am totally stuck in a time where music was the best, good movies were still being made, and clothes were totally cute. (I don't tuck in my shirts and puff them out, though--I know better.) And I realize that my tastes all froze 13 years ago whenever I hear that song "1985." Or when I look around and I'm the only one in Doc Martins in the room, and everyone else is groovin' to a song that came out 3 years ago that I've never heard of.
You know that song by Bowling for Soup, "1985," that talks about a woman who is stuck in the 80s? Well, I came to a realization a few days ago, while riding in the car with my husband. We were listening to the radio, the same station I've been listening to since my freshman year of college, and a song came on that neither of us had ever heard, by someone we'd never heard of. We are old fogies. I am that woman from that Bowling for Soup song, except that instead 1985, I'm stuck in 1995. Here is proof:
1. My husband and I recorded all 5 hours of VH1's 100 Best Songs of the 90s, then stayed up all night watching it and reminiscing about back in the day when music was good. Back when people still knew who Pearl Jam was and when REM was touring. We knew all of the songs on the list. We even noticed which songs were missing that should have been included. If they do the same thing for this decade I may get lucky and recognize a few songs that made it into movies I saw.
2. The radio station I used to listen to (101.9, the End, which I was true and faithful to) had their flashback lunch, and I was expecting some early Depeche Mode, but got "Champagne Supernova" by Oasis instead. Which came out while I was in college. They referred to Oasis as a classic band. Remember the line from "1985" "When did Motley Crue become classic rock?" That actual lyric popped into my head when the DJ said Oasis was classic. I actually switched stations to X96 (my brother will be amazed, I think, that I listen to that station, because I am a fogie) because they play more 90s alternative than my old station. And they just call it good stuff, not classics.
3. My friends that are younger than me (and not by that much, actually) talk about bands all the time that I've never heard of. For example, I have now heard of Dashboard Confessional and Panic at the Disco, but I feel completely out of the loop, because I don't know their music at all. I used to pride myself in college for knowing who sang what song and being up on all the new stuff. Actually, my husband and I kind of make a game of it with songs from his iPod, which are all from the 90s. Yeah, we're fogies.
4. I still wear Gap jeans and T-shirts and the same sweaters I wore in 1995. And I have 6 pairs of Doc Martins. If you are wondering what Doc Martins are, look up 1995 fashion.
5. I feel betrayed by Bon Jovi, because I found out a while back that he was releasing a country album. Country!!! This is Bon Jovi, whose concerts I have attended, who thought I was a crazy stalker at the Olympic closing ceremonies because I was standing on my chair in the orchestra pit 10 feet away and screaming "I LOVE YOU!" I don't feel that way anymore, Mr. Jovi. And I just haven't connected like that with any of the more recent singers. Because I don't know who they are.
6. Some younger friends have commented in the past on my funny prom dresses. Funny as in old and out of date. I still don't get what's funny.
7. I still use the word awesome a lot. And I am not opposed to the use of the word rad. Like, I think "Smells Like Teen Spirit" is an awesome song, but not as rad as anything on U2's Joshua Tree album.
8. When someone tells me their car was made in 1995, I still think of it as kind of new. Not 13 years old and ready to retire. I saw a Mazda Miata in the parking lot at Walmart the other day, and I'm pretty sure it was a model from around 1995. It looked old, and not so hot anymore. It was kind of a shock.
Is anyone else with me? I am totally stuck in a time where music was the best, good movies were still being made, and clothes were totally cute. (I don't tuck in my shirts and puff them out, though--I know better.) And I realize that my tastes all froze 13 years ago whenever I hear that song "1985." Or when I look around and I'm the only one in Doc Martins in the room, and everyone else is groovin' to a song that came out 3 years ago that I've never heard of.
Thursday, October 23, 2008
Totally random
First of all, I am aware that there hasn't been anything new on this blog for quite some time. Looking at the date on my previous post, I went into labor a few hours after I posted Freedom of Speech. And I had a baby an hour and a half after that. I already went into detail on my other blog about the birth of our baby, and there are pictures and everything. It was quite an experience. I'm not going to go into detail here. I learned that I really am not good at handling pain, and that I am one of those screamers that I'm sure nurses complain about. Sorry. There's only so much breathing you can do to manage pain. At least, that's how it is for me.
On a totally different subject, does anyone have any good Halloween costume ideas? I'm coming up totally blank this year. My 3-year-old is convinced that I should be that baby-headed spider thingy in Toy Story (you know, the creepy looking thing from Sid's room), but I just don't think I can pull that off. So, please, inspire me! Last year I put on my BYU t-shirt and hat, painted my face and called it a costume. So lame. Halloween is the best opportunity to be someone totally different, and I'm blowing it!
One more thing. Like the post title suggests, this entry is a bit scattered, but I have a little rant I'd like to make. I went to the eye doctor last week, and, while I'm sure he's an excellent optometrist (I can't tell a difference, honestly, I just try to figure out which is better, one or two, and hope I pass the test), he had me near throttling him by the end of the appointment. Maybe I'm a little insecure about my being a real grown-up, but there is something about people that speak to me like I'm five that really rubs me the wrong way. The entire appointment I felt like I was back in braces and going in for my first appointment. I am 31 years old, for crying out loud! And he couldn't have been much older than 35. My son's previous pediatrician was the same way with me. Very annoying. I think there's a mistaken idea with some doctors, etc, that using a "soothing" voice means having a good bedside manner. To me, a good bedside manner is treating the patient like an intelligent adult, while providing sound medical advice/information. Am I way off here?
Oh, and one more thing--I just finished reading Elantris, by Brandon Sanderson. Thanks, Jenny, for the recommend. It was excellent! I'm about to start on the third Mistborn book now. I just hope I can keep all the stories straight. It's hard when you're sleepy.
On a totally different subject, does anyone have any good Halloween costume ideas? I'm coming up totally blank this year. My 3-year-old is convinced that I should be that baby-headed spider thingy in Toy Story (you know, the creepy looking thing from Sid's room), but I just don't think I can pull that off. So, please, inspire me! Last year I put on my BYU t-shirt and hat, painted my face and called it a costume. So lame. Halloween is the best opportunity to be someone totally different, and I'm blowing it!
One more thing. Like the post title suggests, this entry is a bit scattered, but I have a little rant I'd like to make. I went to the eye doctor last week, and, while I'm sure he's an excellent optometrist (I can't tell a difference, honestly, I just try to figure out which is better, one or two, and hope I pass the test), he had me near throttling him by the end of the appointment. Maybe I'm a little insecure about my being a real grown-up, but there is something about people that speak to me like I'm five that really rubs me the wrong way. The entire appointment I felt like I was back in braces and going in for my first appointment. I am 31 years old, for crying out loud! And he couldn't have been much older than 35. My son's previous pediatrician was the same way with me. Very annoying. I think there's a mistaken idea with some doctors, etc, that using a "soothing" voice means having a good bedside manner. To me, a good bedside manner is treating the patient like an intelligent adult, while providing sound medical advice/information. Am I way off here?
Oh, and one more thing--I just finished reading Elantris, by Brandon Sanderson. Thanks, Jenny, for the recommend. It was excellent! I'm about to start on the third Mistborn book now. I just hope I can keep all the stories straight. It's hard when you're sleepy.
Thursday, October 9, 2008
Freedom of speech
You may think suddenly I'm going to go all political. No, I'm still me. I am going to rant about something totally unrelated to politics, as usual. Not that I don't care about politics, or the upcoming election--ARGH, stomach ache, must change subject! I'm referring to the strange idea that there are certain circumstances that excuse tact and discretion. First, though, I'd like to tell anyone who reads my blog that I am not pointing fingers at you, just raising awareness. That's what we do instead of blame, right? Here are a few circumstances I have been in that seem to inspire people to say inappropriate things:
1. Being single past age 21. Here are some things people think are okay: "So, when are you getting married?" Um, what? "Why aren't you on a mission?" I think this was right after a talk by the prophet about how missions were not mandatory for women, or even the best choice for some. "You must be picky!" If you mean by picky, I don't keep dating a guy who spends 3 hours on his cell phone while we're on a date at Dennys, then yes, I am picky. "I know someone that's short like you and he is PERFECT!!!" Like being short means we're MFEO. I was set up with a few "short" guys (not that there's anything wrong with short guys) that had nothing in common with me. One grew up in a forest with an outhouse and had no interest in music or pop culture. Yeah, perfect for me. But he was 5' 6" All of these things were said to me at age 21 and 22, and so forth, until I got married at age 25.
2. Married for more than 6 months and not pregnant. The question so many can't help but ask, but which is totally inappropriate and personal: "When are you having a baby?" Or, even worse, "Is it that you can't have kids?" Another, "Are you on birth control? When are you going off of it?" We actually had a combined meeting at church when we were first married, and the bishop basically told everyone to mind their own business and stop asking those questions. I am someone who feels compelled to answer someone's questions fully and honestly, which means a lot of the time, I give away much more info that I want to. These questions don't even go away when you have a baby. After the new baby is 6 weeks old, people ask when you're having #2!
3. Pregnant. I find myself in this position right now, and it seems like as soon as you start showing, strangers feel like they can butt into your life and start being completely nosy! Here are some things I've heard: "Ooh, I'd let you borrow some clothes, but they would be much too small." "Are you having twins?" "Wow, you looked really tired." "Hey, I was that big at 8 months with my twins, too! Oh, you're at 6 months?" And the patting of the tummy by people I don't know. I don't mind friends doing it, or my 3-year-old, or my husband. But strangers really shouldn't. The other thing that happens during pregnancy is an outpouring of horror stories of every variety. Seriously, do you think a pregnant woman really wants to know about how you were in labor for 48 hours with no epidural because your doctor was a quack? Or about how your aunt's cousin's nephew's wife had her baby in the car during rush hour traffic? And those are the nice stories. How about, "I loved how exciting it was to have a baby. Everything will be great!" (By the way, thanks to those who commented about that on my other blog. I'm excited now.)
I'm sure I could come up with some examples of appropriate questions, but I've been told my rants get too long. I'll just trust people to know what's appropriate.
The point I'm making is, no one should feel they're exempt from being tactful, no matter how big a pregnant woman is, or how old a single person is, or how long a couple has been married without having kids. You should be pretty close friends before thinking it's okay to even broach some subjects people feel like they can ask after you've met once. Just raising some awareness. Maybe I'll make a pin.
1. Being single past age 21. Here are some things people think are okay: "So, when are you getting married?" Um, what? "Why aren't you on a mission?" I think this was right after a talk by the prophet about how missions were not mandatory for women, or even the best choice for some. "You must be picky!" If you mean by picky, I don't keep dating a guy who spends 3 hours on his cell phone while we're on a date at Dennys, then yes, I am picky. "I know someone that's short like you and he is PERFECT!!!" Like being short means we're MFEO. I was set up with a few "short" guys (not that there's anything wrong with short guys) that had nothing in common with me. One grew up in a forest with an outhouse and had no interest in music or pop culture. Yeah, perfect for me. But he was 5' 6" All of these things were said to me at age 21 and 22, and so forth, until I got married at age 25.
2. Married for more than 6 months and not pregnant. The question so many can't help but ask, but which is totally inappropriate and personal: "When are you having a baby?" Or, even worse, "Is it that you can't have kids?" Another, "Are you on birth control? When are you going off of it?" We actually had a combined meeting at church when we were first married, and the bishop basically told everyone to mind their own business and stop asking those questions. I am someone who feels compelled to answer someone's questions fully and honestly, which means a lot of the time, I give away much more info that I want to. These questions don't even go away when you have a baby. After the new baby is 6 weeks old, people ask when you're having #2!
3. Pregnant. I find myself in this position right now, and it seems like as soon as you start showing, strangers feel like they can butt into your life and start being completely nosy! Here are some things I've heard: "Ooh, I'd let you borrow some clothes, but they would be much too small." "Are you having twins?" "Wow, you looked really tired." "Hey, I was that big at 8 months with my twins, too! Oh, you're at 6 months?" And the patting of the tummy by people I don't know. I don't mind friends doing it, or my 3-year-old, or my husband. But strangers really shouldn't. The other thing that happens during pregnancy is an outpouring of horror stories of every variety. Seriously, do you think a pregnant woman really wants to know about how you were in labor for 48 hours with no epidural because your doctor was a quack? Or about how your aunt's cousin's nephew's wife had her baby in the car during rush hour traffic? And those are the nice stories. How about, "I loved how exciting it was to have a baby. Everything will be great!" (By the way, thanks to those who commented about that on my other blog. I'm excited now.)
I'm sure I could come up with some examples of appropriate questions, but I've been told my rants get too long. I'll just trust people to know what's appropriate.
The point I'm making is, no one should feel they're exempt from being tactful, no matter how big a pregnant woman is, or how old a single person is, or how long a couple has been married without having kids. You should be pretty close friends before thinking it's okay to even broach some subjects people feel like they can ask after you've met once. Just raising some awareness. Maybe I'll make a pin.
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
The death of romantic comedy
There are few movies I go to see in the theater. It's just so pricey, and on top of that, it needs to be one the husband and I agree is worth the money. I can't remember the last romantic comedy I saw in the theater...I'm guessing it was something I saw with roommates in college. The point is, I am dreadfully behind on the genre. If I don't see it in the theater, I have to remember it exists to add to my Netflix list a few months later when it's on DVD. And there are so many to remember. Thanks to friends who remember to rent the movies, or even make it to the theater to see them, and who proceed to blog about them, I have sort of caught up on what's been out recently. I've decided to just pull out the ones I already own and watch them next time I'm tempted to see a new one. Maybe I've lost a bit of my romantic side. Maybe I've become more prudish. Maybe I am just an old fuddy duddy. But last week I watched 3 different romantic comedies, and they just didn't do it for me.
The first one I watched was "P.S., I Love You." If I'd been thinking, I probably would have saved this one for last. It has the most attractive men, and compared to the others, it was very cute and, if a bit sappy, kind of touching, too. To sum up, a woman loses her husband to a brain tumor (the popular way for someone to go in movies these days, apparently), and he has left her a bunch of letters that are delivered to her by different people using different methods. It was more just romance than romantic comedy, come to think of it. I can't think of much that was funny. I think Lisa Kudrow was supposed to be the comic relief, but I was too busy blowing my nose from crying the whole time to find anything she did all that funny. Just thinking about this movie kind of makes me want to watch it again to remind myself what my complaint was (besides that Hilary Swank looks like a drag queen to me, albeit in cute dresses in this movie). I'm guessing I just got tired of crying by the end of the movie. I cried a lot when I saw "Return to Me" as well, but I also laughed quite a bit, because the comic relief was actually there and a relief. Okay, this one may be worth seeing, if you're in the mood for something sentimental and somewhat romantically satisfying.
Then I saw "Definitely, Maybe." Boo. Boo! I found nothing redeeming about it. Nothing. Not even that cute little girl from "Little Miss Sunshine" (Abygail Whatshername). It started with divorce, followed by sexual dialogue, followed by more sexual dialogue said by an 8-year-old (!!!) and a long, boring story about how the little girl's dad met her mom. The girl is trying to guess between three women with whom he had relationships. So this little girl is sitting there, listening to her dad's sexual exploits with three women, trying to figure out which one is the mom that's divorcing her dad. What a heartwarming story. There was nothing remotely funny about it, nothing romantic about it, and, although they were trying to make it mean something, it was completely shallow and lame. Blech.
The next one in line was "Catch and Release," which looked kind of cute to me when I saw the previews. Once again, I was disappointed. Of course, after "Definitely, Maybe" my expectations weren't all that high, to be honest. This one is about a girl whose fiancee dies on a fishing trip (yes, more death, but this time it wasn't by brain tumor). Inappropriate sexual "humor" at the funeral, blah blah, she starts hanging out with his old roommates and they are supposed to be funny. It feels like you're being set up for her to fall for his one decent friend--the one that puts fresh flowers by her bed when she's sad, who treats her decently, respects her time of mourning, etc. But no, she falls for the slimeball that was involved in that "humor" at the funeral and who keeps her dead fiancee's secret girlfriend in L.A. a secret until she shows up to ask for more child support. So basically, this movie is about how the good guy doesn't get the girl, the slimeball gets the girl, and it's okay to rebound a few weeks after your cheating, lying fiancee dies, because he was a liar. Because the slimeball is cute and reminds you of your dead fiancee. Ick. So unsatisfying, so meaningless, and so trying to be deep without even slightly succeeding.
The conclusion I've come to is that romantic comedy is DEAD. I think writers need to watch a few good oldies and remind themselves what makes a good romantic comedy. Like, romance instead of straight sex, and stuff that's funny and not just crass and vulgar. Here are some recommendations, for any screenwriters out there: "While You Were Sleeping"--what I consider the perfect combination of witty dialogue, tender moments, and family humor with a satisfying romantic conclusion. "Return to Me"--this is for those people who feel like death must be included in the script. I bawled my eyes out for the first 20 minutes and last 20 minutes of this movie, but was delighted for the rest of it. That's called balance. The characters are likeable, there are cute old people that are hilarious, there's nothing that would make you uncomfortable on a date (hello--requirement!), and the clothes Minnie Driver wears are adorable, partly because they almost match, but not quite. And if you're going for straight sappiness, "A Walk to Remember"--so, so, so sappy, but I love the message. How about a movie about a teenage girl that stays true to her values, even when the popular guy starts to notice her, and kids tease her about her wholesomeness. How about if, instead of the guy inspiring her to change into a slutty dress and a new haircut, he changes himself into someone who cares and respects her faith and buys her another cardigan? I know makeovers are fun, and there's always a montage in teeny bopper romances that involves trying on lots of cute clothes and getting haircuts, but it is nice to see a movie that says it's okay to stay true to yourself, and that change from the inside out is better than just a makeover. And guess what? All three of those movies involve kissing but no sex! What? Is that even possible? YES!!! So, maybe one of my writer friends could write the next great romantic comedy (Rachel K? Please?). I'm done with them for now. Off I go to watch North and South again. (More of a romantic tragedy than comedy, but if you haven't seen it, DO! The British one, not the one about the Civil War.)
The first one I watched was "P.S., I Love You." If I'd been thinking, I probably would have saved this one for last. It has the most attractive men, and compared to the others, it was very cute and, if a bit sappy, kind of touching, too. To sum up, a woman loses her husband to a brain tumor (the popular way for someone to go in movies these days, apparently), and he has left her a bunch of letters that are delivered to her by different people using different methods. It was more just romance than romantic comedy, come to think of it. I can't think of much that was funny. I think Lisa Kudrow was supposed to be the comic relief, but I was too busy blowing my nose from crying the whole time to find anything she did all that funny. Just thinking about this movie kind of makes me want to watch it again to remind myself what my complaint was (besides that Hilary Swank looks like a drag queen to me, albeit in cute dresses in this movie). I'm guessing I just got tired of crying by the end of the movie. I cried a lot when I saw "Return to Me" as well, but I also laughed quite a bit, because the comic relief was actually there and a relief. Okay, this one may be worth seeing, if you're in the mood for something sentimental and somewhat romantically satisfying.
Then I saw "Definitely, Maybe." Boo. Boo! I found nothing redeeming about it. Nothing. Not even that cute little girl from "Little Miss Sunshine" (Abygail Whatshername). It started with divorce, followed by sexual dialogue, followed by more sexual dialogue said by an 8-year-old (!!!) and a long, boring story about how the little girl's dad met her mom. The girl is trying to guess between three women with whom he had relationships. So this little girl is sitting there, listening to her dad's sexual exploits with three women, trying to figure out which one is the mom that's divorcing her dad. What a heartwarming story. There was nothing remotely funny about it, nothing romantic about it, and, although they were trying to make it mean something, it was completely shallow and lame. Blech.
The next one in line was "Catch and Release," which looked kind of cute to me when I saw the previews. Once again, I was disappointed. Of course, after "Definitely, Maybe" my expectations weren't all that high, to be honest. This one is about a girl whose fiancee dies on a fishing trip (yes, more death, but this time it wasn't by brain tumor). Inappropriate sexual "humor" at the funeral, blah blah, she starts hanging out with his old roommates and they are supposed to be funny. It feels like you're being set up for her to fall for his one decent friend--the one that puts fresh flowers by her bed when she's sad, who treats her decently, respects her time of mourning, etc. But no, she falls for the slimeball that was involved in that "humor" at the funeral and who keeps her dead fiancee's secret girlfriend in L.A. a secret until she shows up to ask for more child support. So basically, this movie is about how the good guy doesn't get the girl, the slimeball gets the girl, and it's okay to rebound a few weeks after your cheating, lying fiancee dies, because he was a liar. Because the slimeball is cute and reminds you of your dead fiancee. Ick. So unsatisfying, so meaningless, and so trying to be deep without even slightly succeeding.
The conclusion I've come to is that romantic comedy is DEAD. I think writers need to watch a few good oldies and remind themselves what makes a good romantic comedy. Like, romance instead of straight sex, and stuff that's funny and not just crass and vulgar. Here are some recommendations, for any screenwriters out there: "While You Were Sleeping"--what I consider the perfect combination of witty dialogue, tender moments, and family humor with a satisfying romantic conclusion. "Return to Me"--this is for those people who feel like death must be included in the script. I bawled my eyes out for the first 20 minutes and last 20 minutes of this movie, but was delighted for the rest of it. That's called balance. The characters are likeable, there are cute old people that are hilarious, there's nothing that would make you uncomfortable on a date (hello--requirement!), and the clothes Minnie Driver wears are adorable, partly because they almost match, but not quite. And if you're going for straight sappiness, "A Walk to Remember"--so, so, so sappy, but I love the message. How about a movie about a teenage girl that stays true to her values, even when the popular guy starts to notice her, and kids tease her about her wholesomeness. How about if, instead of the guy inspiring her to change into a slutty dress and a new haircut, he changes himself into someone who cares and respects her faith and buys her another cardigan? I know makeovers are fun, and there's always a montage in teeny bopper romances that involves trying on lots of cute clothes and getting haircuts, but it is nice to see a movie that says it's okay to stay true to yourself, and that change from the inside out is better than just a makeover. And guess what? All three of those movies involve kissing but no sex! What? Is that even possible? YES!!! So, maybe one of my writer friends could write the next great romantic comedy (Rachel K? Please?). I'm done with them for now. Off I go to watch North and South again. (More of a romantic tragedy than comedy, but if you haven't seen it, DO! The British one, not the one about the Civil War.)
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Why is that man crying?
Be forewarned: it is now TV season, and most of my favorite shows are reappearing after a dismal summer of garbage that came after a writers' strike that devastated my groove. So for the next little while, you can expect posts about TV shows I love. It's what's on my mind.
Last night was the season premiere of Biggest Loser: Families. Tim and I watched last season faithfully, which was Biggest Loser: Couples (same diff, really, except this time they are all related to each other, and last time there were friends and brothers and a couple that had never met). It was very inspiring to watch the show as a married couple, especially a couple that both wanted to lose weight. So we'd sit down with a plate of cookies and watch people work out and cry and throw up and get yelled at by Jillian, and think, we should work out more. We were actually involved in a family competition, until I got pregnant and the whole thing went down the drain. Anyway, the point is, the show is extremely emotional, and just about anyone watching can relate to the pain of exercise, and sympathize with the people that have found themselves overweight somehow. Well, there happened to be a pair of brothers that were on the show last season that started out totally rude and the mean one (Mark) had a change of heart after getting kicked off and getting a second chance. Once this guy got back on the show, he was a complete bawl baby, and there came an episode where his brother got the boot. That night, our then 2-year-old couldn't sleep, and we finally gave up and brought him downstairs to watch TV with us. Mark was in the middle of a very emotional scene with his brother, where both men, but especially Mark, were bawling their eyes out. It was better than a soap opera. Our little boy said, "Mommy, why is that man crying?"
There's just a lot of crying involved in that show. Which is a problem for someone like me. I'm a sympathetic crier (sp?), which means I also spend a lot of time crying when I watch this show. And the new season has already gotten me worked up (although now I can blame the pregnant hormones and not that I'm just a big baby). There's something very touching about watching a daughter inspiring her grizzled old cop dad by killing herself to get up a hill first, and seeing a married couple help each other stay on the treadmill, even though they're both ready to drop dead. And the weigh-ins always amaze me! Can you imagine stepping on the scale after trying over and over again to lose a few pounds, and find you've lost 18 lbs? I would cry, too. And I do. I always feel so inspired to cook a healthy meal and to do pushups after I watch that show. Just so I can be healthy for my kids. Of course, I feel inspired, but don't act on it as often as I should. But the fact that reality TV, which has turned out loads of trash, has also resulted in a show that inspires a country that has gotten lazier and eaten worse for decades to get off the couch and lose weight is amazing. I think I balance out my guilt for watching America's Next Top Model, which is totally shallow and lame, but entertaining, by watching a show where people are changing their lives for the better and becoming good examples for people that have given up. I just have to resign myself to the fact that I need a box of tissues next to the couch every time I watch, and that Tim will mock me from time to time when I start to tear up after someone has been yelled at by Jillian and just can't take it anymore.
By the way, about Jillian. Is it really necessary to be that cruel? I know Jillian gets results, but is screaming right into someone's face as they collapse from fatigue really that effective? Bob seems to do okay with his teams, and, although he's strict and stern, he seems to understand that encouragement is just as good. Plus he's all about yoga and meditation, which seems like a nice idea. I know from personal experience that yoga is killer if you want to burn fat. Just holding beautiful warrior for 30 seconds about did me in one time. (And I think I only did it that one time. Oops.)
Okay, back to real life. Instead of running on the treadmill, I'm going to go do the dishes and throw in some laundry. Maybe I'll do it on my toes to get maximum calf workout.
Last night was the season premiere of Biggest Loser: Families. Tim and I watched last season faithfully, which was Biggest Loser: Couples (same diff, really, except this time they are all related to each other, and last time there were friends and brothers and a couple that had never met). It was very inspiring to watch the show as a married couple, especially a couple that both wanted to lose weight. So we'd sit down with a plate of cookies and watch people work out and cry and throw up and get yelled at by Jillian, and think, we should work out more. We were actually involved in a family competition, until I got pregnant and the whole thing went down the drain. Anyway, the point is, the show is extremely emotional, and just about anyone watching can relate to the pain of exercise, and sympathize with the people that have found themselves overweight somehow. Well, there happened to be a pair of brothers that were on the show last season that started out totally rude and the mean one (Mark) had a change of heart after getting kicked off and getting a second chance. Once this guy got back on the show, he was a complete bawl baby, and there came an episode where his brother got the boot. That night, our then 2-year-old couldn't sleep, and we finally gave up and brought him downstairs to watch TV with us. Mark was in the middle of a very emotional scene with his brother, where both men, but especially Mark, were bawling their eyes out. It was better than a soap opera. Our little boy said, "Mommy, why is that man crying?"
There's just a lot of crying involved in that show. Which is a problem for someone like me. I'm a sympathetic crier (sp?), which means I also spend a lot of time crying when I watch this show. And the new season has already gotten me worked up (although now I can blame the pregnant hormones and not that I'm just a big baby). There's something very touching about watching a daughter inspiring her grizzled old cop dad by killing herself to get up a hill first, and seeing a married couple help each other stay on the treadmill, even though they're both ready to drop dead. And the weigh-ins always amaze me! Can you imagine stepping on the scale after trying over and over again to lose a few pounds, and find you've lost 18 lbs? I would cry, too. And I do. I always feel so inspired to cook a healthy meal and to do pushups after I watch that show. Just so I can be healthy for my kids. Of course, I feel inspired, but don't act on it as often as I should. But the fact that reality TV, which has turned out loads of trash, has also resulted in a show that inspires a country that has gotten lazier and eaten worse for decades to get off the couch and lose weight is amazing. I think I balance out my guilt for watching America's Next Top Model, which is totally shallow and lame, but entertaining, by watching a show where people are changing their lives for the better and becoming good examples for people that have given up. I just have to resign myself to the fact that I need a box of tissues next to the couch every time I watch, and that Tim will mock me from time to time when I start to tear up after someone has been yelled at by Jillian and just can't take it anymore.
By the way, about Jillian. Is it really necessary to be that cruel? I know Jillian gets results, but is screaming right into someone's face as they collapse from fatigue really that effective? Bob seems to do okay with his teams, and, although he's strict and stern, he seems to understand that encouragement is just as good. Plus he's all about yoga and meditation, which seems like a nice idea. I know from personal experience that yoga is killer if you want to burn fat. Just holding beautiful warrior for 30 seconds about did me in one time. (And I think I only did it that one time. Oops.)
Okay, back to real life. Instead of running on the treadmill, I'm going to go do the dishes and throw in some laundry. Maybe I'll do it on my toes to get maximum calf workout.
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
Smile With Your Eyes
Who has guilty pleasures? Everyone, that's who. One of mine is America's Next Top Model (I can see my parents hanging their heads in shame--I can't explain it, you raised us to like classy TV, but somehow I snuck in a few trashy favorites). Did anyone else watch the season premiere last week? Best ever. By far. I think Tyra found a new medication, or went off her old one, because she has reached a new level of crazy. Picture this: 36 squealing, anorexic, ugly pretty (you know, the kind that at first glance seem weird-looking, then strike you as gorgeous after a few minutes) frantic girls showing up at an industrial-looking area of LA, complete with smokestacks (which I swear are the same ones as the ones Mel Gibson keeps painting in "Conspiracy Theory"). They are greeted by the Jays, who are dressed in white leather and wearing silver wigs. Oh yes. This is in the first 3 minutes. The girls are informed that this is the futuristic model facility and that they have to go through a rigorous evaluation to see if they are Top Model material. They are brought to a computerish looking thing that's next to some sort of portal, which you know is going to open and out will come Tyra. The computery thingy starts to smoke likes it's overloading with modelness, and out she comes, complete in black leather and silver lipstick--Tyra Bot. Can you picture the writers sitting around the table coming up with the season premiere? Tyra says, "Come on, y'all, we need to do something edgy!" and this is what they come up with. Super edgy. Like, 1960s edgy. I love it. So Tyra Bot and Alpha Jay and Beta Jay put the models through a "scanner", and then eliminate half of them by having their hands scanned in front of everyone else, and up pops an "Access Granted" or "Access Denied" sign on the screen. Very high tech. This is why I love this show. Every episode is like waiting for a train wreck to happen, and that train wreck happens, and it's Tyra being completely bonkers, and you just can't look away! Plus I like the photo shoots they come up with. I think that conference table is quite the place for inspiration. "This week, let's make the models wear fish suits and tie their hair in a million knots, put them in fancy shoes and hang them off a climbing wall!" So, welcome to the new season, which is sure to be full of fun insanity and wise advice from Tyra (Smile with your eyes, like THIS!). And lots of really emotional, hungry girls (and, apparently, one boy that managed to slip in because he plans on being a girl soon). By the way, 2 more weeks until the Office (that's classy, right?).
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